Ashit Maje

~ Bhul Gaya Sab Kuchh... (1) ~
.
.
Apne baarey mein bas, mai itna hi jaanta hu,
ke I'm a guy of 28 years,
aur mera naam Rajiv Rana hai..
I am an Indian citizen.
aur mai..
234, Supriya Complex, Basant Lok, Vasant Vihar, Delhi, me rehta hu.
.
That's all..
itna hi malum hai muje.
Ye bhi apne wallet me rakhe huve mere driving license aur voter's card se muje pata chala hai.
Aisa lagta hai jaise mera janam aaj hi hua hai.
Aaj subha mai jaaga, us'se pehle ki apni zindgi ka ek bhi din muje yaad nahi.
Aur abhi dopahar ke 2 baje hai.
.
Toh aaj ke iis extra-ordinary din me, subah se kya kya hua uske baare me agar jaan'na ho toh...
.
....
.
Mai subah jab jaaga to mera sar ekdam bhaari lag raha tha
aur mai kaha hu uska muje koi idea nahi tha.
Mere bistar ke piche ek radio-clock hai, jis'se room me ujala aa raha tha.
Maine dekha ke 5.30 bahe hai.
Mere hisab se SUBAH ke 5.30, kyu ke bahar abhi andhera hi tha..
.
I was shocked...
Mai chaunk gaya..
Mai kaha hu?
ye kiska bistar hai?
I don't know. I swear..!
Mai ekdam bistar se uuth khada hua, to muje pata chala ke mai nanga hu..
fully naked..!
Haath tatol ke maine baju ke table lamp ko switch-on kiya.
.
Fuck..!
mere baaju me ek aur mard soya hua tha.
Mai jab uth khada hua to maine apne upar ki chaadar hata di thi,
to dekhta kya hu, ke wo bhi pura nanga tha.
Maine baaju ki kursi par padey bath-robe ko pehan liya.
.
Uus dusre mard ne neend me thodi harkat ki.
I froze..
Mai kya kar sakta hu..?
muje kapde kaha se milenge..?
yaha k baare me toh kuchh bhi toh pata nahi hai muje...
.
Salaa..mai gay toh nahi hu..
toh fir bhi dusre mard ke saath bistar me..? dono nange..?
What the hell..!
.
.
Wo bhi jaag gaya..
aaju baaju dekh kar fikr-bhari aawaz me bola -"Rajiv, kya baat hai..? yaar, abhi to aadhi raath hui hai..?"
.
Maine chillana chaha.. -abey chutiya hai kya..? yaha mere dimaag ki vaat lagi hui hai aur tu bolta hai ke kya baat hai..?
magar mai kuch nahi bola..
khade khade usey dekhta raha..
.
At last, wo bhi khada hua..
aur mere paas aya..
apna haath badhaya..
maano muje apni baaho me lena chahta ho..
mai pichey hatt gaya..
maa kasam.. uska, saale ka lund bhi khada hua tha..
waise to sab ka khada hota hai, subah subah..!
magar mai uusey, muje chhune nahi dunga..
saala..HOMO lagta hai..!
.
Mai pichey hatt gaya..to wo thoda darr gaya..
"Hey baby, please tell me what's wrong.."
.
Woh... Bhadva Saala..Homo !
muje 'baby' keh kar bula raha tha..
muje yaha se jaldi nikal lena tha..
magar kidhar ?
muje to yeh bhi pata nahi ke mai India me hu ya Africa me..
.
.
"Rajiv yaar, I'm worried. Kuch to bata, kya hua hai..? -woh bola..
muje laga ka ab kuch bolna chaiye..nahi to pata nahi aisa kab tak chalta rehega..
waise bhi uus nange mard se koi khatra toh nazar nahi aa raha tha..
muje baithna tha..par bistar pe nahi..
kahi usey aisa na lage ke mai usey 'invite' kar raha hu..
to uus baajuwali kursi pe mai baith gaya..
.
Usney mere haath pakad liye..
"Rajiv, sweetie, I'm beggin you, kuchh to bol"
muje wo apni nazdik nahi chahiye tha..
is liye maine usey bistar pe baithne ko ishara kiya..
wo confused tha..
muje uus bechare pe rahem aa raha tha..
wo meri kitni fikr kar raha tha..
to kaun tha woh ?
.
muje pata tha mai gay nahi hu..
maine jaan buj ke uske badan ko dhyaan se dekha..
uski body kafi khubsurat thi magar mere dil pe, ya mere lund pe, koi asar nahi kar rahi thi..
27-28 saal ka uska bhara hua muscular badan aur 5.10 ya 5.11 ki height, gora rang.. par muje koi sex-appeal nahi kar raha tha woh..
.
"Rajiv, tu kuch nahi bolega to mai pagal ho jaunga..kuchh to bol" -woh fir bola..
.
aakhir maine bolne ke liye apni muh khola..
woh intazaar bhari nazro se dekh raha tha..
par, mai kaise use apni problem samjaau..
muje kuchh samaz me nahi aa raha tha..
aakhir maine pucha.."tum kaun ho..?"
.
Haaa...
ab speechless hone ki uski baari thi..
wo muje ek-tak nazro se dekhta raha.
fir bola- "abey kya bakta hai..? aadhi raat ko koi joke maarne ka mood hai kya..? aur agar hai toh switch off the light..I want to sleep."
.
"NO, PLEASE, meri baat sunn lo puri.." mai chilla utha.. "i'm serious. mai abhi kuchh hi der pehle hi jaga hu..aur muje kuch pata nahi lag raha, ke mai kaun hu..kaha hu..aur tum kaun ho..abhi jaagne se pehle ki koi baat muje yaad nahi aa rahi..MAA KASAM"
.
Jaise mai koi beokuf hu, waise wo muje dekhta raha..
table lamp ke baju me pade wallet ko meri tarf fenk kar boloa -"Iss me dekh le..aur suun, muje teri ye nautanki bilkul pasand nahi aa rahi.."
.
"Nahi, ye koi mazaak nahi hai.." maine kaha, "and please, can you put on some cloths..?"
.
Wo meri taraf ek cheed-bhari gussail nazar se dekhta raha..
aur fir ek gym-short pehan li..
Ham dono silent the..
Mai wallet se Credit-Card, PAN-Card, Driving License etc. nikal kar padhne laga.
Aur aakhir muje pata chala ke mai kaun hu..aur abhi kaha rehta hu..
.
Maine usey dekha
aur jitna serious ho saku utna ho kar puchha.. -"Who are u..? are we related to each other..?
.
"You are serious. Aren't u..? usne pucha..
Fir dressing table ke Shelf se ek foto-frame nikali..aur mere haath me thama di..
uus foto me do nau-jawan the..
ek dusre ke kandhey pe haath rakhey hue..
pichey bahut saara paani tha..
shayad sea-shore hoga..
aur kuch ships bhi thi..
wo do ladke ham dono hi they..magar kafi jawan..very young...
iiska matlab hai, mai isey bahut pehle se jaanta hu..
lagta hai ham dono gehre dost hai..
.
maine uus ki taraf sawaaliya nazar se dekha..
wo samaz gaya ke muje kuchh aur bhi jaan'na hai..iis foto ke baare me..
.
"Ye foto ham ne 7 saal pehle li thi. April 2005 me...mumbai me..Gate-Way of India, pe."
"Ham dono kya vacation pe gaye thhe?"
"Yes, ham dono ne ek dusre ko commitment kiya uski celebration karne gaye the..I'm sure, you haven't forgotten this day.. It was the happiest day of my life.. tu issey kaise bhul sakta hai.."-usne dard-bhari aawaz me kaha.."tu saala, agar koi gandi si mazaak kar raha hai..ya meri taang khinch raha hai toh... toh... I'll never forgive you..yaad rakhna, MAA KE LAUDE.."
.
Wo bechara itna dukhi lag raha tha ke mai to hi bhul gaya ke wo ek homo hai..
mai uthkar uske paas bistar pe jaa ke baith gaya,
usey kuch comfort dene ke liye..halaanki us'sey jyada to mai darra hua tha..
.
"Tumhara naam kya hai, what's your name..?" maine pucha..
woh kuch nahi bola..
meri taraf bas..dekhta hi raha..
His silence was killing me now..
I really needed to know..
"Please, apna naam bataao" maine fir kaha..
.
Usney apna haath mere kandhe pe rakha..
magar maine usey hata diya..
maine dekha ke meri iis harkat ne usey kitna aur bhi mayus kar diya tha..
par fir bhi woh bola-"mera naam Sanjay Saxena hai..aur ham dono life-partner hai..ham dono kaafi arsey se, saath reh rahey hai..agle mahine, March me ham apni seventh anniversary celebrate karenge. Mai ek architech hu and you are a lawyer. You graduated from Indian Law Instittute, Delhi. Teri Graduation Ceremony pe tere guest ke taur pe, mai akela hi tha. Tere papa ne to tujhe ghar se be-dakhal kar diya tha..when he caught us both in your room"
.
"Caught us ?"
.
"yeah, while I was fucking you..Tuney fir part-time job kar liya aur maine tumhe Indian Law Institute me Law ki Post -Graduation karne me help-out kiya. yaad karne ki try kar yaar."
.
"Dekho mai keh deta hu, mai koi gay nahi hu. Toh fir kyu baar baar kahe ja rahe ho ke mai gay hu..I would never allow you to fuck me.. aur mere parents kahaan ha..? muje unhe bhi yeh batana hai ke I'm NO FAG"
.
Ab Sanjay ka chahera gussey se tilmilia utha aur bola -
"Well, agar tum gay nahi ho, to fir..how is that I have cum a hundred time in your mouth and even in your ass. Aur tuney bhi mere muh aur meri gaand me yehi kiya hai..you understand ? jaha tak mai janta hu, tu kabhi kisi ladki ke saath kabhi soya nahi hai. magar mai yeh bhi jaanta hu ke mere alawa tere aur bhi ek do ladko se chakkar chal rahe thhe, but i didn't care as long as u came home and slept in OUR bed... And yeah, tere papa 4 saal pehle car accident me maare gaye hai. Teri mummy to bachpan me hi guzar gayi thi..
.
Ab mai apne parents ke na honey ka dukh mehsus karna chahta tha..
magar mujey to apni koi history yaad nahi aa rahi thi.
Sanjay ki information pe mai ekdam thanda raha.
Uski sex ki baato pe maine concentrate kiya..
magar mai wo baate maan'ne ko taiyyar nahi tha.
.
"I'm sorry," maine kaha, "dekho, you seem to be a nice guy. aur mai tumhe upset karna nahi chahta.. But i need to get out of here..kyu ke jab tum out-of-line ja ke behave karne lago to mai tumhare thobde pe ek punch marna nahi chaahta."
.
"tu saala, ek number ka chutiya hai.." Sanjay chillaya, "abey beokuf, tu idhar hi rehta hai..! ye tera hi ghar hai. kidhar jayega tu..? hotel me ? saale, idhar reh le aur thodi neend khinch le. Chal..tuje khush rakhne ke liye mai sofey pe so leta hu.. tu andar se kamra bandh kar le, bas..? subah breakfast ke baad tuje doctor pe paas le jaunga.."
.
maine usey rokna chaha..
par wo bahar ja ke so gaya..
woh jaise hi gaya maine darwaza bandh kar liya..
aur sab kuchh check karne laga..
.
aasani se pata chal raha tha, ke yaha iis kamre me 2 mard rehte thhe.
Gents toiletries se bath-room bhara pada tha.
and yes, sex-lubricants bhi thhe uus me.
2 ward-robe cupboards thhe..
ek me kapde thhe wo sanjay ki size ke lagte thhe..34 ki waist-soulder ke..
aur dusre me meri size ke thode chhote 30-32 ki size ke..
.
Muje Sanjay se baat to karni hi thi..
mujey jan'na tha ke ham kal raat soney ko gaye us'sey pehle kya kya hua tha..
nanga ho kar uske saath ek hi bistar me soney ki imagination se hi me kaamp utha.. maine apne aap ko convince kiya, ke shayad mai bistar me soya, uske baad kisine mere kapde utaare honge..
.
Maine andaza lagaya, ke jisne bhi yeh kaand kiya hoga, usne muje bistar se nichey dhakka laga kar gira diya hoga.
magar Sanjay ke lover ka kya hua hoga?
ab woh kaha hoga?
Shayad usne hi ye kiya hoga.
Ya fir dono ka plan hoga mujse paise nikalva ne ka..
.
magar wo mujse paise kaise le payenge..?
muje to kuch yaad nahi..
ATM, credit-card ke PIN bhi nahi..
kya koi jaaidaad hogi meri jo unko chahiye..?
kuch baat nahi ban rahi..
.
yaad-daast ka kho jana.! kya hai ye sab...?
koi gazab ka plot lag raha tha muje..
.
Yes, I'll have to talk with him, right now.. (contd..)

(2) ~

Aaj early in the morning 5.30 baje, jab mai nind se jaga, to mera sar ekdam heavy lag raha tha.
Aur meri yaad-daast gayab ho chuki thi.
Apna naam tak bhul gaya tha mai.
Maine dekha ke mai bistar me bilkul nanga tha, aur meri baazu me ek nau-jawan soya tha aur woh bhi pura nanga tha..
Usne nind se jaagkar muje bataya,
-ke mera naam Rajiv Rana hai, aur uska khud ka naam Sanjay Saxena hai, ham dono gay-partner hai aur kai saal se saath me reh rahe hai..
Muje uske saath kaafi uncomfortable lag rha tha,
toh woh muje bedroom mein akel chhor kar, hall mein ja kar so gya..
.
Muje uski baat pe bharosa nahi aa raha tha,
q k mere me koi bhi gay feelings nahi aa rahi thi.
Muje to yeh sab koi gehri saajiz lag rahi thi..
Muje laga ke iis silsiley me Sanjay se aur bhi puchh-taachh karni chaiye,
iis liye bed-room se nikal kar, mai uus ke pichhe pichhey hall me gaya,
jaha wo ja kar soya hua tha.
.
Bed-room ka darwaza khol ke mai hall me aaya..
sofey pe sanjay leta hua tha, abhi bhi sirf wo gym-shorts pehne hue..
aur chup chup ke siskiyaan le raha tha..
ro rha tha woh, muh chhupa ke..
.
ye homo bhi na..
saale.. ladkiyo ki tarah hi hote hai..
har baat pe aansu bahana, shuru kar dete hai..
.
.
I felt sorry for him..
aur uske kandhey pe haath rakhna chaha..
magar ruk gaya..
usko kahiin aisa na lage, ke mai uske saath sex karna chahta hu.
Maine sirf uska kandha hilaya aur kaha -"muje tumse kuch puchhna hai...I need to make sense of everything."
.
Usne apne chehre se haath hata liya aur apna sar hilaya..
"Kal soney se pehle kya ham-tum saath me thhe? maine puchna start kiya..
usne apna sar hila ke haan kaha.
.
"kya kuch hua tha..? mera sar kahi takraya tha..ya aisa kuchh ?
Sanjay halka sa muskuraya..
I got surprised..
"you really don't remember..? usne puchha
maine sar hilaya.
.
"Ok.." usney chalu rakha, "tu mere upar chada hua tha. Mere khayal se hamlogo ne bistar ke bichme hi shuruat ki thi. magar during the action ham dono ek side me chale gaye..finally jab tu mere upar se nichey aane laga to tujhe laga hoga ke side mein kaafi jagah hai..magar tu nichey gir gaya..kasam se ! Aur side-table ke koney se tera sar takraya hoga.. maine jab puchha, to tuney kaha ke sab theek hai..par muje ab bhi lagta hai ke tuney table se takkar maari thi."
.
Maine apne sar pe haath ghumaya..
sar pe gaththa to aa gaya hoga takrane se..
par kuch nahi tha..
koi evidence nahi tha mere badan pe, jis'se andaza lage ke mai gir gaya tha..
.
wapas muje Sanjay ke iraado pe shaq hone laga..
saala meri yaad-dasht ki story to nahi bana raha,
jab ke aisa ho ke usne muje koi drug diya ho..ke muje kuch yaad na rahe..
har pal mai aur jyada pareshaan hone laga tha..
.
maine sanjay ki aur dekha..
woh jaise ke chup-chap mujse request kar raha tha..usko yaad karne ki...usko pehchan'ne ki..
.
woh khada ho gaya
aur bola ke woh abhi aata hai..
par muje uuspe bharosa nahi aaya..
to mai uske pichhe pichhe gaya..
.
Wo ek chhote se kamre me gaya..
lagta tha koi office ya guest room hoga..
book-shelf me se usne 5-6 foto albums nikaale.
.
Mai uske pichhey pichhey living room me gaya.
usne muje apne paas bithaya.
thodi hichkichahat k saath, mai uske bagal me baith gya.
Uski nangi tange muje touch kar rahi thi to mai thoda sa pichhey sarak gaya.
Kisi dusre mard se itni intimacy ke saath baithne se muje gheen aati thi.
.
Agli 30mins tak wo muje, itne saalo me li gayi foto dikhata raha..
kisi special function, event, occasion pe li gayi,
vacation trip pe li gayi..etc etc
waisi fotos me, maine apne aap ko, aur Sanjay ko, zindgi ke alag alag makaam pe aur hamari alag alag umar mein paya.
.
Har foto dikhate waqt sanjay uus foto k baare me kuch na kuch information deta raha.
Hamare anek dosto se pehchaan karvata raha.
Kaun hamre close frnds the,
kaun ab bhi hai,
kaun hamri zindgi se chale gaye..etc etc..
.
Mai janta tha, wo bahut mehnat karta tha..
par mai kisi ko pehchan nahi paya..khud sanjay ko bhi nahi..
sab se badi baat to ye thi, ke wo jab 'ham' aur 'hamari' baat karta tha, to mai kuch bhi apne aap se relate nahi kar pata tha.
.
Ek foto ki taraf ishara karke woh bola -"ye foto hamne uus raat ko li thi, jis raat hamne pehli baar love kiya tha. Manish koi achcha fotographer nahi tha, par kitni clear foto li hai usne itni bad-light me bhi.. oh god, I can still remember, tera lund mere muh me itna mazedaar lag raha tha, ke puchho mat. aur baad me jab tuney meri gaand me dala to..it was so thrilling yaar ! Sweet-heart, surely tu bhi uus raat ko kabhi nahi bhul sakta.. i'm sure.."
.
Wo jo bol raha tha uski visual picture mere dimaag me chha gayi..
aur chheee..
muje to ultee aane lagi..
Koi bhi haalat me, mai aisi harkat nahi kar sakta, mai janta hu..
.
2 album purey hone ke baad wo tisre ki aur badha to maine usey rok diya..
kaafi kuchh dekh liye the maine..jis'se ke, i was sure ke i'm suffering from AMNESIA due to which, meri yaad-shakti chali gayi hai.
.
Sanjay ne suggest kiya, ke hame shower le kar dress-up ho jana chahiye
aur fir woh break-fast banayega
aur fir doctor ko call kar ke appointment le lega.
.
Ham bed-room me gaye to usne apni chaddi nikal ke nanga ho gaya..
I stood pat..
to woh bola- "tu mere saath shower nahi le raha kya..? ham log har subah saath saath hi shower lete hai.."
.
"Nahi, aisi homo-giri muje nahi karni" maine berahemi se kaha..
wo thoda sahem gaya..
aur bathroom me chala gaya..
subah ki sab kriya niptaane aur shower lene..
.
Sab kar-kara ke woh bahar aaya
to usne towel lapet liya tha..
Aatey hi woh bola -"Bed ki right-hand side wale cupboard mein jo bhi hai, wo sab tera hai.."
.
Maine dekha ke wo kitna hurt hua tha...
Khair, mere saath jo bhi hua tha usme uska to koi bhi fault nahi tha..
koi kusoor nahi tha..
.
Mai sab nipta ke bath-room se bahar aaya
to dekha ke Sanjay bed-room me nahi tha..
muje kafi relief mili iis'se.
.
Usne jo mera drawer bataya tha. usey tatol ke maine underewear, socks aur shirt pahen liye.
Ward-rob se trousers chun li aur shoe-rack se jutey.
Mirror me apne aap ke dekha, to laga mai kaafi smart and handsome lag raha tha..
.
Bahar aaya, to kichen se omlet ki badhiya khusbu aa rahi thi..
Mai andar gaya..
,
Sanjay gas-stove ke paas khada tha.
Uski aankhe laal aur kafi suji hui thi..
magar fir bhi..
there was no mistake in saying, that he was quite a handsome guy.
Ye baat alag hai ke mai kabhi uska lund chusne ka, ya us'se gaand marwane ka soch bhi nahi sakta..
aur na hi is'sey ulta kuch karne ka..
.
Mai table pe baith gaya
toh Sanjay ne muje break-fast serve kiya..
maine 3 cup black-coffee pi lee
iis ummid me, ke mera yeh ganda sa hang-over jaldi khatm ho jaye..
.
Itna delicious break-fast ke liye maine Sanjay ko thanks kiya,
toh woh meri taraf ek nazar dekhta hi raha..
mere thanx ke jawab me maine socha woh bolega -"u r welcome..!"
magar nahi.
woh bola -"Mai to DAILY subah break-fast banata hu."
.
Thodi der thaher ke usne pucha -abhi ek aur ghanta baaki hai, doctor ko fon karne ke liye. Tumhari life ke baare me kuchh aur jaan'na chahte ho.?
"Yes," maine kaha, "everything"
.
Hamlog comfortably kitchen-table pe baithe the.
Usne ek-ek cup aur cofee banyee.
Ek sip li aur shuru kiya-"
"Ham dono Pitampura ki Rising Star Acedemy School me, 12th Std mein saath saath the. Tera uus saal naya admission hua tha..tere papa uusi saal Delhi shift hue the. Annual day function ham dono school auditorium me sath sath baithe the. Maine tuje ek nazar dekha aur mera dil usi waqt dhadak utha. muje laga ke tu sabse khubsurat ladka hai jisey mai aaj tak mila hu. uusi waqt mera lund khada ho gaya."
.
Mai thoda akkad gaya- Pleas skip all that sex shit. It isn't helping and it's really turning my stomach"
.
Fir se Sanjay ne muje aise dekha jaise maine usey ek thappad raseed kar diya ho. magar fir bhi usne apni baat chalu rakhi -"I was sure ke tu straight hai. iisliye sirf "Hi" karke manie tere pe koi dhyaan nahi diya. Imagine yaar, ke mai tab kitna khush hua tha, jab tuney apna haath badha kar apna introduction diya tha.
Function ke program ke baad ham baat karte hue, khade rahe aur fir saath me buffet-dinner ke liye gaye. Hamare class alag alag thhe, magar canteen me ham aksar milte or kabhi kabhi sath-sath nasta karte. Bas itna hi.
Aur q ke wo local school thi, toh ham sab ghar par hi rehte the, hostel-boarding me nahi. Isliye school ke baad jyada milna julna nahi hota tha.
Fir ham dono ki college bhi ek hi hui. Arts faculty ke liye accidently, ham dono Delhi ki Hansraj College me hi gaye.
Fir Sinior college ke 2nd year me ek din mai apne frnds ke saath Kidwai-Nagar me ek gay party me gaya, to tu bhi wahi aaya tha. Mai tuje dekh kar tere paas aaya to tune ek mast si smile di muje.. Ek koney me le jakar ke tune muje ek deep-kiss kar di. Tuney muje kaha ke tuney muje dekha tab se tu muje LIKE karne laga tha, school ke time se..par tuje laga ke mai straight hu, iisliye kuch kaha nahi tha..Maine kaha -meri bhi ekdam same story hai..
Ham dono party me fir saath saath hi rahe..tu apna kadak lund mere badan se ragadta raha..aur in-between kabhi kabhi kiss karta raha..
fir mere ek frnd Manish ne ham dono ki ek foto nikali..jo itni bad-light mein bhi kaafi achchi aayi hai, aur jo maine tuje abhi pehle dikhayi thi.
Mere parents week-end pe Agra gaye hue thhe, ek shaadi me..toh tu mere saath mere ghar aaya..and we made love for the whole night..
my darling, u must've forgotten but never will.."
.
"Impossible.." maine uski baat kaat'te hue kaha, "mai kisi mard ke saath kabhi bhi sex nahi kar sakta..not even in a hundred years..ham dono ko kisi registaan me akela bhi chhor do, to bhi nahi.. Kyu mujse jhooth pe jhooth bole ja rahe ho?"
.
Ab Sanjay puri tarah haar chuka tha..
wo sidhey meri ankho me dekhte hue bola -"Rajiv, I'm not lying.. I swear"
.
"To fir q mai jab sex ke baare me sochta hu, toh kisi mast badey badey boobs wali ladki ko mere nichey fantasize karta hu ? muje batao..explain me, you gay boy..!"
.
Sanjay ne koi jawab dena nahi chaha..
bas usne apni baat aage badhana chahi..-"mera ek purana gay friend tha..jo chandni chowk me kiraye ke ek makaan me reh kar, wahin purani delhi me, job kar raha tha..uske mummy-daddy Bihar me the. Woh hamey apna karma istemaal karne deta tha. kabhi bhi..any time..bas utna, ke jab woh ghar pe hota, to wo bhi hamey join karta tha..three-way sex mein ham dono ko koi bhi problem nahi thi..Wo bade mast din thhe Rajiv..Hamey duniya ki koi fikr nahi thi..bas..graduation ke kuch din pehle tak.. Uus din tere papa aur teri step-mom.."
.
"step-mom ? sauteli ma..?
"yes, teri mummy to bahut pehle guzar gayi thi..fir tere dad ne dusri shaadi kar li thi..woh lady tere saath bahut achhi tarah pesh aati thi, jab tak ke tuney usey wo karte dekh liya tha, jo usne nahi karna chahiye tha.."

"kya nahi karna chahiye tha..maine usey kya karte hue dekh liya tha..?

"woh to tuney muje nahi bataya tha..but i presume..you saw her with some other guy in your house, while your dad was away..he was in military. Anyway..tuney jo bataya tha muje, according to that..uus haadse ke baad wo lady, totally tere against ho gayi thi aur tere dad ko tere khilaaf bhadkati rehti thi..
To mai keh raha tha..ke hamare graduate hone ke kuch din pehle..ek din tere papa aur step-mom Jagjeet-Singh Night dekhne gaye the..par uus singer ki tabiyat kharab ho gayi achanak, to ticket ke paise refund le kar, wo dono jaldi ghar aa gaye..aur ham dono ko sex karte dekh, tuje ghar se bahar kar diya..aur teri mom ne bilkul unhe roka bhi nahi..bilkul shaant nahi kiya..
tuney muje baad me bataya tha, ke tere dad ekdam macho type ke mard thhe..shayad tereko muje fuck karte hue dekh kar utna gussa na hotey..par uus din to mai tere ko fuck kar raha tha..to unka dimag ka para ekdam aasman pe chadh gaya..aur ham-dono ko ek ek thappad maar kar, ghar se bahar kar diya..
Mai tuje mere ghar le aaya..mere dad ko mere gay hone ka andaza pehle hi tha..par woh kaafi considerate thhe..maine mere dad-mom ko kabhi khullam-khulla nahi bataya.. par shayad dad bi-sexual hai..i'm not sure but i presume..kyu ke woh hamara pyaar khub samaj paye..
mere parents ne tuje panaah di aur graduation pura karne ka mauka diya..aur aaj tak mere dad ne kabhi bhi muje marriage karne ke liye force nahi kiya..meri mom ko bhi god knows, kaise convince kar liya hai unhone..
anyway, after graduation muje architectural firm me achchi naukri mil gayi aur tuney I.L.I. se law me post graduation karna shuru kiya..jiska kharcha mai deta raha..Mai toh ab junior partner ho gaya uus firm me ..aur tuney apne ek class-mate ke saath law practise ki office khol di..aur ab senior partner ho usme..
yeh chhota sa ghar hamne pichhle saal liya hai..aur ab ham sath sath reh rahe hai.."
.
"who paid for this house?"
"Luckily ham dono ke profession kafi achche chal rahe hai..even u contributed 50 percent in buying this house..and tell you what..ham dono hamesha busy rehne ke baaojud every 6-8 mahine me ek baar, 7 days ka vacation manane kahin na kahin tour pe chale jate hai..everthing was so normal till this morning. In fact kal raat, TV dekhne ke baad ham soney gaye..we had a wonderful love-making session. Fir tu bistar se gir gaya. Magar kaafi theek lag raha tha..hamne fir apne aap ko clean kiya aur fir so gaye..aur uske baad kya hua wo to sab tuje yaad hai. hai na..?
.
Of course, muje yaad tha.
maine apna sar hila kar haan kaha.
.
Sanjay khada hua aur ja kar doctor ko fon lagaya.
Ek lambi conversation ke baad woh mere paas aaya
aur kaha -Dr. Manju Khosla ne hame dopahar me 3 baje ki appointment di hai. Mai apni office me bata diya hu ke aaj nahi aaunga..Tu bhi bata de apni office me.
.
Magr muje apni office ka fon nmbr bhi yaad nahi tha.
Aur na hi apne work envoirnment ke baare me kuch pata tha.
Maine sanjay ko hi kaha fon karne ko.
Office receptionist Sanjay se achchi tarah waakif lag rahi thi.
Usne us'se kaha -ke mai bimar tha aur aaj nahi aa sakta.
Usne bechari ne 'get well soon' ka msg bhi choora mere liye.
Itna karke wo fir kitchen-table pe aa ke baith gaya.
Aur ekdam masoom tarike se meri taraf rehnuma nazro se aise dekhta raha, ke muje pata nahi kyu, par apni helplessness pe rona aa gaya.
.
"I would want to put my arms around you to comfort you" wo fusfusaya, "magr mai janta hu, u won't let me.."
"No need of that. Its OK, I can manage" maine kaha.
"Normally, ham roj subah "Times" ke cross-word puzzle saath-saath solve karte hai. Abhi hamey kaafi waqt paas karna hai..do u want to do that?"
"Nice Idea" maine kaha. "saala, malum to pade ke yaad-dasht ke saath, maine kya kuchh, aur bhi khoya hai ya nahi..magar please do me a favour..kuch kapde pahen lo."
.
Mai ab bhi nervous tha kisi adh-nange mard ke sath satt ke baithne me.
Wo bhaag ke bed-room me gaya..
aur mere jaise hi dress-up ho ke aaya.
Mai usey dekhta raha..
.
woh kafi handsome, kisi dress-material ke model ke jaise dikh raha tha.
Magar mere me koi sexual feeling ujagar nahi hui, usey dekh kar.
Mai sirf uske good-looks ko admire karta tha..
uski kindness uske understanding..sab se mai impress hone laga tha..
uski jagah, aur koi kam sensitive banda hota, to bolta -bhaad me ja tu..
aur fir apne kaam pe nikal jata.
.
Achanak mere dimag ki batti jal gayi.
muje realize hua wo mere liye itna kuch karta hai q ke wo mujse pyaar karta hai..
aur meri iis haalat se kaafi fikrmand hai.
.
Mai aur confused ho gaya..
saala ek mard dusre mard ko pyaar kaise kar sakta hai.. unsey sex ka khyaal bhi kaafi ganda hai..
magr chalo, woh toh samaj sakte hai ke do mard sex kar lete honge, magar kisi mard se pyar karna..mere dimaag me baat baith nahi rahi thi.
Kaafi strange lag raha tha, ye khyal hi muje.
.
Hamlog cross-word khelne baith gaye..
pehle hi puzzle ka jawaab muje ek hi second me mil gaya..
aur maine usme bhar diya..
hamne aadhey ghante me woh puzzle pura kar diya..
.
"Chal ek walk le kar aate hai", usne sujaav rakha, "shayad paas-padaus ke mahaul ko dekh kar bhi kuch memories laut aaye tumhari.."
.
Ham raaste pe chalne lage..
magar utna samay Sanjay ke liye koi achcha nahi guzra. Jab bhi koi khubsurat ladki apni gaand matkati paas se guzarti
to mai usey ek-tak dekhta rehta
aur muh se aah nikal padti..
aur Sanjay kaafi uncomfortable ho jata..
.
Ek jawan khubsurat launda dekhkar usne muje uus taraf dekhne ka ishara kiya
magar maine koi interest nahi dikhya..
to woh aur bhi mayus ho gaya..
.
Kaafi waqt idhar udhar guzar kar ham, bahar hi restaurant me lunch le kar, kariban 1.30 baje apne apartment me wapas aaye..
aur abhi 2 baj rahe hai..
.
ok..
to ye thi meri pichhey ki kahani, jahaan se maine yeh baat aap se shuru ki thi.
.
Waise Sanjay ne sab fotos ke zariye itna to muje convince kar liya hai, ke ham dono achchey dost hai..
ok chalo.. we both are good frnds..
magar..ek bhi foto gandi ya nangi nahi thi usmein.
Ham-dono ke kissing ki bhi koi foto nahi thi..
to fir mai kaise maan lu, ke Sanjay mera gay partner hai..?
ab doctor se milney ke baad dekhte hai, ke woh kya kahe,
waise muje to koi Doctor yaad raha nahi hai..
toh muje to ussi doctor se milna hoga, jis'se woh milaye..
.
Kahin aisa to na ho, ke woh bhi Sanjay se mil kar aise koi plan me shaamil ho..?

(3) ~
.
.
Sanjay aur mai, Dr.Khosla ki clinic ke waiting room me baithe the.
Wo kai baar mera haath apne hatho me lene ki koshish karta raha.
Mai janta tha, ke woh sirf muje consolation dena chahta tha, uska koi sexual intention nahi tha,
magar mai apna haath baar baar khinch leta tha.
.
Uski mayusi badhti ja rahi thi
aur aankhe gilli hoti chali thi.
Bechara..!
.
Mai us'sey achcha behaviour karna chahta tha..
magar chahe kitna bhi mai usey chahta tha, fir bhi ek gay mard se physical contact se muje gheen aa rahi thi.
.
Dusri taraf, mai doctor ki receptionist se apni aankhein ladata raha..
usey flirt kerne ki try karta raha..
(saali, mast item dikh rahi thi..
uske boobs..wow !)
.
lekin wo muje bhaav nahi de rahi thi.
Sanjay ne ye sab dekha,
aur mere kaano me fusfusaya -"apna time waste mat kar, wo tere ko saalo se jaanti hai..usey ye bhi pata hai ke tu gay hai.."
Mai chaunk gaya.. usey kaise pata ?
.
itne me doctor ne hamey andar bulaya..
Doctor ek khubsurat hasina thi..
kariban 32-33 saal ki..
aur usne aisi smile di hamey, ke mai to paani paani ho gaya..
.
Maine apna haath badhaya aur us'sey hand-shake karte kaha -"Gud Morning Dr.Khosla"
Lekin uska reaction kaafi ajeeb tha.
.
"Kyu Rajiv," Doctor ne kaha, "ham log to purane dost hai..we are old frnds.. and tum toh always muje Manju kehkar bulate ho. Besides you always greet me with a hug. Now, where is my hug..?"
.
Muje usey hug karne mai koi problm nahi thi..
magar hug karte waqt maine ye khyal rakha ke mera lund, kahi uske badan ko touch na kar jaaye.
.
"Sanjay ne muje tumhare problm ke baare mein thodi bahot general idea de di hai..
and even I feel, ke it is quite strange. Wo kehta hai ke tumhara sar Table se takraya tha kal raat ko, aur tum keh rahe ho ke, nahi..Toh chalo pehle tumhare purey jism ka muaaina kar lete hai.. let me examine you.. apna shirt aur trouser utaar do..andar boxers pehni hai na..?
.
Fuck..!
usey kaise malum ke mai andar boxer shorts pehani hai.?
may be, mai always boxer hi pahenta hoga..!
.
Maine Sanjay ki aur dekha aur kaha -"Tum please, bahar jaoge..?
Sanjay ne muje aise dekha, maano maine uskey siney me khanzar ghusa diya ho..
shayad, maine wohi kiya tha..
magr wo room chhor ke chala gaya
aur...ahista se darwaza bandh karta gaya..
.
"I'm surprised that u did that.." Manju ne kaha, "jab bhi aap mein se kisi ek ki medical examination hoti hai, to dusra wahin maujud rehta hai..anyway.. Khan tumhare Vital tests le le, utni der me mai wapas aa rahi hu.."
.
Aur woh room me se bahar chali gayi..
Aur tab ek 40 yrs ka ward-boy aaya.
"Hi Rajiv bhaiya.." usne muje greet kiya..
.
fir chupchaap, usne mera weight, mera blood pressure, mera temprature, cardiogram etc..le kar, ek chart me note kiya
aur chupchaap chala gaya..
.
Kuch der me Manju wapas aa gayi..
Aur fir mere purey badan ko examine karne lagi..
.
In the mean-while, maine usey wo sab bataya mere gir jaane ke baare me, jo sanjay ne muje kaha tha.
.
Uus waqt uska nazook haath mere badan par fir raha tha..
jis ki wajah se mera lund khada hona shuru ho gaya tha..
muje kaafi embarassment ho rahi thi.
Manju ne wo sab ignore kiya..
shayad wo iin sab se accustomed ho gayi thi..
.
"muje to koi kharonch takk nazar nahi aa rahi..tumhare 'pichhwade' par bhi nahi.." usne kaha, "get into your clothes and then we'll talk"
.
Kapde pehan kar, mai uskey saamne wali chair pe baith gaya..
usne ek PAD nikala, shayad kuch likhne ke liye aur jaise hi usey table pe rakha..toh mere dimaag me ek film ubhar aayi..
jaise mai ek table-chair pe baith kar, kisi moti si book ko refer karte hue kisi pad par notes likh raha hu..
Sanjay ne kaha tha, ke mai ek lawyer hu
aur muje aise lagne laga, jaise yeh mera woh vision hai, jab mai apni office me kaam karta hoga..
Mere me ab ummeed ki kiraney footne lagi thi..
I was becoming hopeful now..
.
"Tumhari sabse purani yaad kab ki hai..?" Manju ne puchha.
Maine usey, subah jaagne ke baad ab tak ki, wo sab chhoti se chhoti baate bataayi, jo muje yaad thi.
Koi jyada mushkil kaam nahi tha wo..
bas us'se purana kuch yaad nahi tha muje..
.
"Rajiv," usne hamdardi se muje kaha, "mai bhi tumhari tarah hi confused hu.."
Fir usne Khan ko bulaya
aur neurologist Dr.Deol se, jitni jaldi ho sake, meri meeting aur meri MRI test ki date fix karne ko kaha.
.
"Wo meeting fix kar raha hai, in the mean-while tum reception-room mein jaao aur Sanjay ko andar bhejo. I want to talk to him alone."
.
What the hell..!
Mareez mai hu, Sanjay nahi..!
Ab insult ka khanzar jhelne ki meri baari thi..
.
Par fir bhi maine wohi kiya jo usne kaha..
Wo Sanjay ke saath 10-15mins akele me thi.
.
Fir woh dono bahar aaye, aur mere haath me ek prescription paper dekar Manju boli -"You have an appointment for MRI test on thursday morning 9.30am at All India Institute. Nerologist Dr.Deol wahin honge, aur tumhara interview lekar, tumhe examine karenge."
"Ok..Thanx Manju" Maine kaha
.
"Toh ye sab toh parso hoga, aur aaj tuesday hai..so I think, ke behtar yahi hoga kal tum office jaao..issey ek doctor ka order samjho. Raajiv, mai chahti hu, ke tum Madan ko tumhari memory-loss ke baare me sab sach bata do, taaki usey koi confusion na ho. (muje unhone baad me bataya ke Madan Prabhu mera business partner hai) Aur Madan se kaho ke tum jo jo cases par kaam kar rahe ho, uun sab cases ke baare me woh tumhe necessary information de de."
.
"Lekin, kal hi office.." Sanjay ne beech me bolna chaha,
.
"Listen," uski baat ko adhuri kaat kar Manju boli, "yaad-dasht ke chale jaane ko medical terms me AMNESIA kehte hai..yeh ek rog hai, jo aksar badhti hui umar ke saath logo ko hota hai..magar kabhi kabhi achanak kisi haadse ki wajah se bhi aisa ho jaata hai, jab dimaag me blood-supply hone me koi dikkat aa jaati hai.. Is'sey memory ke saath kabhi kabhi knowledge aur skill bhi gayab hone lagti hai, magar ye sab toh general cases me hota hai. Ab Rajiv ka case, to koi general case nahi hai..achanak raat-o-raat hua hai ye uske saath..toh muje yeh dekhna hai, ke iska Law ka knowledge bar-karaar hai, ya personal memory ke saath saath, isney wo bhi kho diya hai."
.
"You r Right Manju.." maine kaha
.
"Dekho Rajiv, it's just an experiment and if you fail, don't despair..maayus mat ho jana. Ham log iski bottom tak jayenge..isii liye toh ham MRI test bhi karwa rahe hai. Magnetic Resonance Imaging -Yeh ek aisa test hai, jisme wo sab bhi dikh jaata hai, jo ke X-Ray ya CT-Scan me nazar nahi aata, aur brain ke kissey mein toh, yehi ek test most helpful hota hai."
.
Ham dono Dr.Manju ko fir se thanx keh kar, waha se chal diye..
Raste me mai, Sanjay ke saath ekdam fighting mood me aa gaya.
.
"Ma ki chut, tum dono ne andar, kya khichdi pakaai, itni der tak..? maine chehre par muskaan bar-karaar rakhte hue, ek tikhey tone me puchha
.
"Wohi, jiska andaaza to tuje hoga hi. Woh boli ke -usey koi idea nahi aata teri memory jaane ka.."
.
"Par ye bataao, wo hamare baare me itna kuch jaanti kaise hai..?" uski baat ke beech me hi maine kaha, "tumhara koi chakkar to us'sey ho nahi sakta, kyu ke tum to saale.. gay ho.."
.
na chahte hue bhi, maine usey taunting tone me puchh liya, jo ke mai sidhi tarh se bhi puchh sakta tha..
aur fauran muje afsos hua ke, maine aisa q kiya..
.
"arey, sirf muje nahi, ham dono ko achchi tarah jaanti hai." usne mere taunt ko ignore karte hue kaha, "Ye Manju to Manish ki badi-behen hai.." .
.
"Manish..?
.
"arey wohi..mera friend..jisne ham dono ki pehli foto khinchi thi uus gay party me..
fir to tu bhi uska achcha dost ban gaya tha..bechare ke saath bahut badi tragedy ho gayi thi..don't u remember ?"
.
"nahi muje kuchh yaad nahi, and u know that, isiliye toh ham log yahaan doctor ke paas aaye the.. don't u remember that.."
mera kaduva attitude khatm hone ka naam hi nahi le raha tha..
.
"Manish ne to suicide kar li thi.." Sanjay ne itni badi baat ekdam ahista se keh di.
baat karne ka shayad, uska mood chala gaya tha..
.
"What..? how..? why?" Manish ki koi yaad mere me bachi nahi thi, fir bhi mai chaunk gaya.."tell me more.."
.
"Well..ham teeno dosto ke parents ko hamare gay hone ka pata chala, toh teeno ne alag alag tarah se re-act kiya tha. Mere parents ne meri feelings ko puri tarah samja aur muje apni life apni style me jeene ki puri liberty de di.. tere dad ne tujey liberty to de di magar tujse koi rishta nahi rakha..aur manish ke parents ne us'sey rishta to rakha magar uski puri liberty, puri azaadi chhin li.. "
.
"matlab..?"
.
Uun beokufo ko laga ke Manish ko homosexuality naam ka aisa ek rog hua hai, jo ke pshycological treatment se theek ho jaega.. har kism ki kachra-type medicine ka course kiya gaya..pshyco-therapy shuru kar di gayi..Manju uus waqt medical ki digree le rahi thi, abhi doctor nahi bani thi..uusne apne parents ko samjana chaha..magr uski koi baat ko seriously nahi liya gaya.. uun bhosdiwale psychologists ne bechaare Manish ke dimaag me, pata nahi kya gobar bhar diya uun dino me, ke usey lagne laga, ke usne koi bahot bada paap kar diya ho..uska jina haraam kar diya uun haramzaado ne. Poor boy..! muje yaad hai.. kitna zindadil ladka tha woh.. hardam hansta.. mahekta.. khilkhilata.. maano zindgi ke purey maaine samaj chuka ho.. koi confusion nahi.. apni gayness ko fully accept karke, life enjoy kar raha tha.. par un beokufo ki third-class treatment ke baad usey lagne laga ke uski zindagi barbaad ho jayegi.. uska jeevan maano ke, ek gunah hai.. he's commiting a serious crime by leading the gay life-style. At last..iin saab se tanng aa kar..ekdam haar kar, wo depression me chala gaya..apna mental balance kho baitha..aur ek din 5th floor par se nichey kuud kar apni jaan de di.."
.
"Oh.." mera reaction sympathy se bhara hua tha..
.
"Tabhi uunke ghar me sirf ek Manju hi thi, jo uska dard samaj sakti thi..usey bahut hi bura laga..apne bhai ki maut ke baad, usey gehra ehsaas hua, ke gay honey se kabhi koi insaan, kisi se kam nahi ho jata..fir usey, har gay ladke me apna bhai nazar aane laga..baad mein wo Manish ke har dost se friendly ho chuki thi..aur isiliye, hamare gay hone par usko koi aapatti nahi hai..koi problem nahi hai..hamse woh utni hi normal behave karti hai jitna kisi straight bande se..aur GAY ka full-form bhi toh usii ne muje samjaya tha.."
.
"and what is that..?" maine halka sa reaction diya.
.
"GAY ka full-form hai. Good As You. when a boy says that I'm gay, he means that thou i'm gay but I am also Good As You.. don't treat me differently.. let me be a part of your society."

"hmmm...nice." aise intelligent interpretation se mai kuch kuch impress to hua
magar Sanjay ke aur ka mera attitude abhi bhi waisa hi tha.
.
"Ok. Aur woh neurologist Dr. Deol ..? kya woh uske jaan-pechaan ke hai?" maine puchha.
.
"Wo unke taau ke ladke hai..her cousin.. we can talk to him openly..isiliye toh Manju ne aur koi neurologist ko suggest na karte hue..unhe hi chuna, so that ham be-fikr unsey sab-kuch bata sake"
.
"chalo, Manju se mil kar yeh ek faida toh hua..or else she wasn't able to trace out any thing about my memory-loss. right?
.
"no, she learnt one more fact about u, ke jab tu apne aap ko straight bata raha hai, tab tu jhuth nahi bol raha hai.."
.
"woh kaise..?"
.
"jab woh tuje examine kar rahi thi..tab tera lund khada ho gaya tha..iis se pehle toh kabhi aisa nahi hua tha..right ?"
.
"ab muje kya pata..? muje to, iiski maa ki bhosda, kuch bhi toh yaad nahi hai.." mai fir apni condition pe apna gussa jaadne laga..
.
"Usney presume kiya, ke hamare paas gay-porn ki DVD to hogi..par muje puchha ke koi straight male-female ki DVD hai..? to maine na kaha..to usne muje ek-do waisi DVD kharidne ko kaha, aur ham dono ko ek-saath baith kar woh dekhne ko kaha..aur fir wo dekhne ke baad, tere kya re-action hotey hai..uska report muje, usey karna hai.. aur usne ek aur baat sugeest ki hai..
.
"ab kya hai wo..? jo bhi hai bak do na..kiske liye baki rakha hai..?"
saaf dikhai de raha tha ke mai usey hurt kiya hu..aisa keh kar.
lekin mai Sanjay se itni bitterly kyu baat kar raha tha..?
maine tay kiya, ke ab mai uus'se softly baat karunga..
.
"Manju ne kaha ke ham dono ko ek saath, nange ho kar wo porn-DVD dekhni chahiye.."
.
I was shocked..
but I thought for a while..
aur fir kaha, "theek hai..I'll compromise..ham nange to honge, magar ek ek bath-robe to pehnenge.."
.
"ok, chal aadhi baat hi sahi.." usne jawaab diya. "kaafi late ho chuka hai..chalo dinner le lete hai ab..ghar jaane se pehle."
.
"yeah, good idea," maine kaha aur fir usey ek aur taunt mara, "favourite doctor ki tarah hamara koi FAVOURITE restaurant bhi to hoga.."
.
"yeah, sure..hai na.. apniwaali FOOD-LAND Restaurant." Usne mere taunt ko ignore karte hue kaha. "Chalo udhar hi chalte hai..let's have happy hour drinks too, before the dinner"
.
"haan ji, to fir chalo tum taxi bula lo." ab mera tone casual ho gaya.
.
Par achanak woh thehar gaya aur meri taraf dekhne laga ek-tak nazro se..
"kya hua ? maine puchha.
.
"Always, tu muje 'tu' kehke bulata tha. Aur fir, 'harami..kamine..chutiye..maa ke laude..' ye sab to gaayab hi ho gaya tere muh se.. kitna apnapan lagta tha uusme. aur ab kitna ajeeb, kitna paraya sa lagta hai tere muh se 'tum', 'tumhara' etc suun kar.."
.
Sanjay ka chahera, uski iis baat ko, uske muh se bhi jyada bayaan kar raha tha.
Mai sab samjhta tha..
maine mark kiya tha, ke woh hamesha mujse 'tu' kehkar hi baat karta tha..par meri zubaan par isey lana muje mushkil lag raha tha.
.
Wo meri re-action ka wait karne laga..
magar mai kuchh na bola.
.
Aur fir usney ek taxi bulaayi,
aur usey ek address bataya..
muje us'sey koi matlab nahi tha..kyu ke muje yahaan ke area ka kahaan koi pata tha.
.
Even though, Sanjay ne muje bataya tha, ke mai saalo se Delhi me rehta hu..par muje to jaant ke ek baal ke jitna bhi yaad nahi tha.. na woh restaurant, aur na wo area..
.
Ham log hotel me gaye.
Waiter ne aa kar hamere naam lekar hello kaha..
aur pucha ke kya ham apna regular drink hi lenge.. ?
maine haan kehte hue apna sar hiliaya.
.
Do peg khatm hue tab tak, kai ek regular customer aate gaye aur hame 'hi-hello' karte rahe..
Har baar Sanjay uun sabko, sirf Hi-Hello na karte hu, 'hi, Rajesh, hello Khanna saab', etc. aisa karke hi reply deta raha,
so that mai indirectly, uun sab ke naam se waaqif hota rahu.
Kitna effort le raha tha woh...
.
Sanjay ab ahista ahista mera chahita hota chala tha..
Not as a sex-partner, but as a friend wo muje pasand aane laga tha.
Muje aisa lagne laga tha ke -yes, ek hetrosexual ki friendship, ek homosexual se hona possible hai..
.
Saath saath muje aisa bhi lagne laga tha, ke iis restaurant ka atmosphere kafi hadd tak gay jaisa hi lagta tha..
jyadatar log muje gay, ya fir gay-friendly lage..
magar do peg ke baad... i didn't care for all that.
.
khana lazeez tha..
khaane ke baad ek aur drink le kar ham ghar ki aur chal padey.
.
Taxi me Sanjay ne mujse kaha, -"I had a nice time tonight..Thanks yaar, for sharing it with me"
.
I felt sorry for him, really..
Par iis waqt muje uski, ya kisi aur mard ki jarurat nahi thi,
I needed a girl.
I wanted a pussy to fuck..boobs to play with.
Anyway,
porn-movie se hi kaam chala lunga..aisa maine socha.
.
Taxi ne hamey ek video-parlour ke paas utara.
Wahaan se Sanjay ne ek male-female (hetro-sex) ki DVD khareedi.
.
Ham jab ghar pahuche
aur dono ne shower liya, magr separately..
pehle usne fir maine..
.
mai jab uus office type ke chhote se kamre me aaya,
to Sanjay apna bath-robe pehan kar, rocking chair me baitha tha.
Mai ja kar couch pe baith gaya, apne paanv faila kar.
.
"Ready?", usne puchha.
"hmm.." maine kaha, "kaunsi play kar rahe ho..? gay ya straight..?"
"which one you prefer..? usne fir puchha
"of course, straight waali"
"Well, maine wohi DVD insert kar ke rakhi hai." keh kar usne uuth kar DVD ka play button dabaya.. (contd..)

(4) ~
.
.
Kal ki hi ye baat hai..
Kal subah early in the morning mai jaga, toh mai hairaan reh gaya.
Meri yaad-dasht chali gayi thi..bilkul..
naam tak nahi yaad raha.
.
Sanjay, jo ke mere bagal me soya tha, usne bataya ke ham dono gay partners hai aur sath-sath rehte hai..
Magar mere me koi gay feelings bhi nahi bachi thi..quite strange no..?
Yes, I was straight as an arrow.
.
Sanjay muje hamari family physician Dr,Manju Khosla ke paas le gaya, jo ke ek mast-mast item-girl ke jaisi beautiful thi.
Usney preliminary tests ke baad Expert neurologist Dr.Deol se meri appointment fix karwa di.
Yaha meri MRI test bhi hone wali thi jis'se iis bimaari ka kuch ilaaj ho paayega.
.
Dr.Manju ko bhi yeh pata chal gaya ke mai straight banda bann chuka hu,
kyu ke muje examin karte waqt, uske mulayam haatho ke sparsh se hi mera lund khada honey laga tha.
Par woh dono haar maan'ne wale nahi they..
.
usney Sanjay ko suggest kiya, ke hamdono saath baith kar Gay Porn-DVD aur Straight-Porn DVD dekhein aur fir Sanjay ko, meri film dekhte waqt ki re-actions note

karke uus beautiful doctor ko batani thi.
Ham ghar aaye aur DVD dekhne lage.
.
Pehle scene me ek stud ladka aur 2 ladkiya aayee.
Ekdam fast and furious hokar unlog sex karna shuru kiye..
Film ekdam hot thi..
Jab woh ladka ek ladki ki chut chaatne laga, to mera lund khada hone laga..
aur mera bath-robe uper uthne laga..
.
Mai andar haath daal kar apna lund hilane laga..
bada maza aa raha tha..
Maine Sanjay ki aur dekha.
Woh dekh raha tha, par koi khaas expression nahi the uske chehre pe..
uska lund dheela pada tha..
.
Fir dusri ladki ne uus mard ka lund chusna shuru kiya..
Kuch der me Sanjay ka lund harkat dikhane laga..
aur woh bhi apna hath apne lund pe le gaya..
dhire dhire usey sehlane laga..
mere khyaal se uus mard ke tagde lund ko dekh kar, woh garam ho gaya tha.
.
Apna lund hilate hue Sanjay meri taraf dekh raha tha..
par mai us'se nazar nahi milata tha..
mai apna dhyaan TV screen par hi jama kar rakha tha.
.
Achanak Sanjay khada hua, aur usne DVD stop kar ke,
Player me se woh DVD nikal li, aur dusri wali DVD andar daal di.
.
"Chalo, kitchen me chalte hai.." woh bola, "mai coffee banata hu, aur kuchh pastry khate hai ham. Hamaare lund thande ho jaaye, uske baad ham Gay DVD play karenge aur fir dekhenge ke kya hota hai."
.
Ham black-coffee aur pastry-cake enjoy kar rahe the,
tab jaa ke kuchh der ke baad, Sanjay se baat karne ki mujme himmat aayi. "Achcha hua yaar, tumne muje stop kar diya..mera to maal nikalne hi wala tha..par muje aur thoda lamba khinchna hai. Aur dekho, agar gay-film dekh kar mera khada nahi hua, toh fir promise karo, ke tum fir woh hetro wali DVD chalaoge taaki mai apna 'kaam' finish kar saku"
,
"tu muje apna lund hilane dega..? usne puchha, "saala, is'sey pahle, maine hazaaro baar tera lund hiliaya hai..and I know u love it when I do it for you."
aisa lag raha tha ke bolne se jyada, woh bhikh maang raha tha.
.
Achanak wo pastry-cake muje mithey ki jagah kaduwa lagne laga..
"Dekho Sanjay, I like u, lekin yaar, jyada zor mat do, mere par..I am a straight guy, yeh baat apne dimaag me fit kar lo. Koi bhi mard muje touch nahi karega, aur naa hi mai kisi mard ko touch karunga. Sirf ek hi wajah hai, there is only one reason, ke mai yaha tumhare saath rehta hu, kyu ke mere paas kaheen aur jaane ke liye jagah nahi hai..Please, tum yeh baat jaan lo, ke mai iis problem ka jalld se jald koi solution nikaalna chaahta hu.. u get me?"
.
Purani hindi filmo me koi tragedy-song gaate waqt, woh tragedy actor Dilipkumar jaise muh banata tha, waisa muh, bechare Sanjay ka bann gaya..apne aap
.
Muje bada afsos hua, magar mai aur kuch kar bhi to nahi sakta tha.
Jo maine us'sey abhi abhi kaha tha, wohi mera matlab tha kehne ka..
koi galat baat, ya badha-chadha kar kuch nahi kaha tha, maine.
.
"Please, don't leave me," woh gidgidaya, "Apne double-bed ko ham 2 single-bed me change kar denge..bas ? ya fir, apne uus office wale kamre ko hi ham dusre bed-room me convert kar dalenge. Ham log sirf ROOM-MATE ban kar hi rahenge..and I promise, ke mai tuje touch bhi nahi karunga..but I can't live without you. I'll die, if you leave."
.
Oh yeah..!
maine visualize kiya, ke mai kisi ladki ko chod raha hu aur Sanjay baju-wale bistar me leta hai.
Ha..!
fuck..!
arrey..., ussi room me to kya, wo baaju-wali room me bhi rahega na, to bhi kisi ladki se sex nahi kar paunga..!
Mai dil hi dil me hans diya,
par kuchh na bola.
Bechare ko abhi tak kaafi hurt kar chuka hu mai..
.
Ham fir, office me aa agye aur apni apni jagah baith gaye..
Sanjay ne gay-flim shuru kar di.
Pehle scene me 2 student, hostel me padh rahe hai..
dono me se kisi ka dhyan padhai me nahi hai..
thodi thodi der ke baad ek dusre ko dekhte rehte hai..
dono, table ke nichey apne apne lund sehla rahe hai..
fir ek, jo ki kafi lamba aur muscular ladka hai..woh khada ho jata hai
aur dusre ke paas aa ke thehar jata hai..
ab uska lund dusre ke muh ke level par hai..wo lamba ladka apna lund masal masal kar usey lalcha raha hai.
Dusra ladka uske lund ko pyasi nazro se nihaarta hai..aur apne hotho par zubaan ferna shuru karta hai..
yah dekh kar wo lamba ladka apna track-pant nichey kar deta hai.
andar usne kuch nahi pehna hai..to lund sidha dusre ke muh se takrata hai..
wo apna muh khol deta hai..
to dusre hi pal, wo lamba ladka uska muh chodna shuru kar deta hai..
ladke ka lund kaafi bada hai, par woh ladka aasani se pura apne muh me sama leta hai usey.
Aur muh ki chudayi shuru ho jaati hai.
.
Maine Sanjay pe nazar ghumaai to woh apna lund daba daba kar sehla raha tha..
mera lund to kapoos ke jaisa naram soya pada tha..
lund ko dekhkar, lund khada hota hai kya, kisi ka?
How strange it was..!
.
Fir kuch der ki muh-chudaai ke baad, muh se lund nikal leta hai.
Firr dusra ladka khada hokar apna track-pant utaar kar uus table par leit jata hai.
Aur apne ghutne apne muh ki taraf leja kar apni bina balo ki gaand us lambe ladke ke saamne pesh karta hai.
Condom ya lube lagane wala koi scene nahi aaya..
Magar, jab usne gaand me lund ghusana shuru kiya to lund pe condom chadhaya hua tha aur gaand lube se lathpath thi..jis'se entry maarna ekdam aasaan tha..
ek hi dhakke me pura lund andar ghus gaya..bina kisi mushakkat ke..
ladke ko koi jyada taqleef nahi hui, itna lamba lund gaand mein lete hue..
bas ek halki si aah nikal gayi muh se..
aur asli chudaai shuru ho gayi..
Ab wo dusra ladka lund ko aasani se apni gaand me lekar, mazey le raha hai..
Uska khud ka lund bhi pura tight aur straight khada hua hai.
Woh apna lund hila raha hai aur woh lamba ladka uski gaand maar rha hai..
Bich bich me wo lamba ladka bhi dusre ladke ka lund haath mein lekar usey hila raha hai..
dono ki aankh ekduje par jami hui hai..
Scene pur-bahar me chal raha hai.
.
Dusri aur maine dekha ke Sanjay ab zor zor se apna lund hila raha tha..
uski saanse fulti ja rahi thi..muh se aawaaze nikal rahi thi..
aur kuch pal me uska juice uskey lund se shoot ho kar uski chest par feil gaya..
Yeh dekh kar, mere toh peit me shikan uthne lagi.
Mai to abhi bhi dhila hi tha.
.
Mai uuth khada hua aur DVD stop kar di..
"I'm sorry," maine kaha, "kisi ladke ki gaand maarne ke bajaye, saala, mai kisi bandaria ko chodna zyada pasand karunga.. Yeh film ne toh yaar, mere ko bimaar kar diya..mai aaj yaha couch par hi so jaunga..aur suno dost, mai pehle hi chance pe yaha se nikal lena chanta hu."
.
Sanjay itna tragic dikh raha tha, ke I felt really sorry for him..
but in no way, I could share it with a homo..
.
Wo roney pe aa gaya tha
but yet he managed to speak, "Look Rajiv, let me give you a blow-job. Mai jaanta hu ke you'll love it aur ho sakta hai us'sey hamaare sab happy times ki teri memory laut aaye."
.
Ek pal ke liye muje laga ke I should allow him.
Magar uus khayal se hi badan me kapkapi si daud gayi..
aur mai couch pe leit gaya
par itna dhyan rakha ke mera lund fully covered rahe..
.
Wo daud kar bed-room me chala gaya
aur bistar par apne aap ko patak diya..
kaafi der tak uuske chhip chhip kar roney ki aawaaz aati rahi..
uus aawaaz ne muje soney na diya..
toh maine uthkar darwaza bandh kar liya.
.
Maine fir woh hetro-porn wali DVD laga di
aur apna lund hila kar apna maal geera diya..
fir gehri need so gaya.
Itni gehri, ke next morning Sanjay ko muje jagana pada.
.
Usney shower, shave etc karke apne office ke kapde pahen liye the..
"tuje aaj office jana hai, jaise ke Dr.Khosla ne suggest kiya hai." wo itna bol kar kitchen ki aur chala gaya.
.
Maine dekha, ke mai uus office-type ke chhote kamre mein hi raat bhar sota raha tha.
Mai bedroom me gaya.
Aaj to muje malum tha ke kaunsi cheez kaha rakhi hui hai.

Shower me maine ja kar maine, apne badan pe shukh gaye hue apne lund ke maal ko ghees ghees kar saaf kiya..
aur shower le kar apne ward-robe se office ke liye suitable aise formal kapde pehen liye..
.
Bechare Sanjay ko kuchh samaz me hi nahi aa raha tha ke woh mujse kis tarah behave kare.
Maine apne aap ko samjaya, ke muje uske saath narmi se pesh aana chahiye..
After all, uski to puri duniya mai hi hu, jo us'sey alag hoti ja rahi thi.
Meri jo condition ho gayi thi, usme uska to koi fault nahi tha.
.
Meri ye jyadati hi thi, ke mai ye soch raha tha ke mere saath koi gandi GAME kheli ja rahi thi.
.
"It's a beautiful day," usne kaha. Mai to paidal hi office ja raha hu. Teri office to duur hai. Maine iis kagaz par address likh diya hai, aur saath saath mein important persons ke naam bhi likh diye hai. Ye lo.. Mere khyal se tu taxi le lena, unless ke tuje subway-wale raaste se kaise jana hai, woh yaad ho.."
.
Usne muje chaabi ke 2 set diye.
Ek ghar ka, aur dusra meri office ka..
saath saath ek kagaz ka tukda bhi tha.
Aur ACTUALLY wo bhaag kar ghar se bahar nikal gaya, apne pichhey darwaza zor se bandh karte hue..
muje aisa laga, jaise usey fir rone ka dil kar raha tha..
.
ab.. baar baar kyo woh roney jaisa ho jata tha..?
Itne hatte katte jawan mard ko ye sab suit karta hai kya..?
.
Uskey jaane ke baad maine chaabi pocket me daal di
aur uus kaagaz ko padhne laga.
.
Company ke naam 'Prabhu Rana & Associates' ke nichey usne address likha tha,
1222-C, Main Shopping Centre, Vasant Vihar, Delhi.
-Your Secretary: Shefali Sen (Woh tere par marti hai..shayad ab tu usey satisfy kar payega. Magar apne office staff ke saath flirt karna sahi nahi hota)
-Your Partner: Madan Prabhu
-Madan ki Secretary: Maya Prabhu (uski wife hi hai)
-Law Associates: Maria D'souza & Dawood Ansari
-Apprentice Staff: Sandhya, Sukhbir and Jayant (I don't know their last names)
-Clerical staff: No body. (apna kaam khud karna hoga)
.
Mera dil dhadak raha tha, maare darr ke, anjane darr ke..
Ab tak toh har kadam par Sanjay mere saath tha..ghar par, restaurant me, Doctor ke pass..
Har jagah, on my behalf, woh bolta raha, aur muje shield karta raha..
koi aisa mauka nahi aaney diya, ke ulzan ke maare, mai hadbada jaau.
Par ab yahaan..?
Yahaan to mai akela rahunga..
How will I have to behave with various people..?
kya hoga mere saath..?
.
Sanjay ne bataya tha ke Madan, mera Law-College ke time ka dost hai..
toh kya woh jaanta hoga meri homosexuality ke baare me..?
Kya us'sey yeh confirm karna theek hoga, ke pehle mai gay hua karta tha, ya straight?
.
Fuck...!
I was so confused..

Part 5 ~
.
.
Mai taxi lekar office gaya..
jyada dikkat nahi aayi dhundne mein..
kyu ke taxi driver uus area ka jaankaar tha.
.
Mai office me enter hua ke, -
"Good Morning Mr.Rana," sab ne muje greet kiya.
Par ek aawaaz aur aayi kisi aurat ki, "We missed u yesterday. Aur aaj aap brief-case nahi laaye..?"
.
Ye kaun ho sakti hai ? meri secretary ? Shefali ?
kya mast maal dikh rahi thi woh..!
really..!
.
"No, I left it at home," maine aise hi ignor karte hue tone me jawaab diya..ek boss ki tarah.
.
Maine idhar uthdar dekha.
Ek cabin par name-plate lagi hui thi "Madan Prabhu -Advocate"
Mai bina knock kiye hue andar ghus gaya.
Madan chaunk gaya.
.
"Rajiv, aa gaya tu ?" usne hadbadakar puchha. "I'm in the middle of giving a dictation. Thodi der baad aa jaao,"

"Nahi, muje abhi baat karni hai..It's an emergency. Maya..please leave us alone for a few minutes."
(maine chance liya ke jisey woh dictation de raha hai, wo Maya hi hogi..uski secretary-uski wife)
.
.
Koi bhi surprised nahi hua..
iiska matlab tha ke mai sahi tha.
I started gaining confidence..
.
"Sure," maya ne kaha aur apni note-book lekar chalti bani.
"Kya yaar Rajiv, what's the matter ?
"Sit down, I have a true story to tell you, magr tum usey believe karnewale nahi ho. But before that mai tumse ek sawal puchhna chahta hu"
"Ok"
.
(Actually, baat ye thi ke, Sanjay ke alawa, mai doctor, uska ward-boy, Food-Land Restaurant ke staff aur waha aate-jaate kai guests se mil chuka tha,
magar except Sanjay, kisi aur se muje yeh pata nahi chala tha ke mai gay hu..I mean mai gay tha..
aur mere me koi aise ulti-sulti feelings bhi nahi aa rahi thi..
to muje assure karna tha ke Sanjay sach bol raha hai ya nahi..
ab, kisi aur ko to puchh nahi sakta tha, to maine socha ke Madan se kyu na puchh lu..
waise yeh topic itna aasaan nahi k har kisi se iska zikr kiya jaaye
par kyo ki Madan itna close friend cum partner tha, to meri himmat badh gayi ussey confirm karne ki.)

"Ok, puchho" usne apni baat dohraai.
"Sanjay bata raha hai ke tum aur mai, ek dusre ko Law-College ke time se jaante hai.."
"yes indeed. Toh usme kausin nayi baat bataai usne..?"
"toh..toh ye bataao ke kya mai pehle se gay hu kya?"
"abey, tu kya piya hua hai kya? arrey, jab se mai tuje jaanta hu, to waisa hi hai.. itna achcha hai, ke tuney kabhi mere pe dorey daalne ki try nahi ki..warna ham dono itne successful partners kabhi nahi hote."
"ok, toh fir, now listen" keh kar maine ussey pichhle do dino me hui, sab baate usey batai,
aur yeh bhi bataya, ke doctor ne muje office attend karne ko suggest kiya hai, taaki mai jaan saku ke LAW ki meri knowledge bachi hai ya, woh bhi bhul gaya.
.
"Ok," usne kaha, "mai ye teri chutiya jaisi GAME khelne ko taiyaar hu. Chal teri cabin me chalte hai aur mai tuje tere cases ke baare me samjata hu."
.
Ab itna to maine mark kiya, ke kisi bhi case se mai familiar nahi raha tha,
fir bhi muje itna to pata chal raha tha, ke woh case me kya karna chahiye..usey kaise solve karna chahiye. Uspe aur kya research karni chahiye etc.etc.
.
Madan ke jaane ke baat maine apne inter-com uthaya..
Saamne se Shefali, meri secretary ki aawaz aayi..
"yes Rajiv"
.
Toh mai ek aur baat samaz gaya ke yaha staff, boss se itna close hai ke "Sir" "Boss" etc ki koi formality nahi bachi.
.
"Sandhya free hai? agar hai, to bhej do, ya fir kisi gents staff ko bhej do"
For some reason, muje ladki ke saath kaam karne ko jyada dil ho raha tha..
.
Ek 24-25 saal ki khubsurat ladki aayi andar..
Maine ek case ki research karne ko usey kaha.
To woh bol padi -""Rajiv, are you all right? You asked me to do that a few days ago and my research is in your in tray."
.
"Sorry," mai hadbadaya. "I must have forgotten. Thanks."
Jaise hi wo gayi to pehle maine yahi sahi samja, ke apni tray dekh lu..
Mai uske andar ke papers padhne laga..
kisi kisi letters ke reply dena baaki lag raha tha..
aur uske kya reply hone chahiye, woh muje samaz me aa raha tha..
That means, meri legal skills abhi tak sahi-salamat hai..
Great !
.
Maine Shefali ko bulya..apna steno-pad lekar, taaki mai kuch dictation de saku..
woh ekdam low-cut blouse pehne hue thi..
jis'sey uske boobs aadhe bahar nazar aa rahe the..
saali ne bra tak nahi pehni thi..
isliye uski nipples bhi ubhar kar aayi thi.
Mera dhyaan baar baar udhar hi baar baar ja raha tha..
.
"You look particularly beautiful today," maine apna dictation khatm karne ke baad kaya.."agar tum shaam ko free ho to chalo dinner pe chalte hai.."
.
Aisa laga, jaise ye suunkar woh shayad behosh ho jayegi..
magar bechari itna to bol hi paayi ke "Sure, I'll love to have dinner with you, Rajiv"
.
"Ok, to fir hotel tumhari choice ka. tum khud pasand kar ke ham dono ke liye table reserve karva lo." maine kaha.
(Waise bhi, muje to koi idea nahi tha kisi hotel ke baare me. )
.
Uske jaane ke kuchh der baad, Madan aaya
aur bola, "tuney Shefali ko kya kar diya hai, aisa lag raha hai jaise wo hawa me uud rahi hai"
.
"Mai usey dinner pe le ja rahu hu, shaam ko. Aur uske baad uskey saath soney bhi wala hu." Maine yeh baat itni aasani se keh di, jaise ke, aisi baat karne ke liye, yeh ekdam common-place ho..
Madan ka muh khula ka khula hi reh gaya..
.
"Dekh, mai ab gay nahi raha." Maine kaha.
Aur fir aankh maarte hue apni baat puri ki. "Tu apni wife ko bacha ke rakhna, woh bhi kaafi mast aur patakha-item hai."
Aur fir mai khud, apne iis confident-level se impress ho gaya..
;)

Shefali ne jo restaurant chuni thi, uska ambience kafi romantic tha..
dim candle lights,
romantic soft music,
guests ka low traffic,
well-disciplined aur non-poking staff..
maano jaise mere mann me vaasna ki aag bhadka raha tha..
.
Shefali kaafi broad-minded ladki thi.
Sanjay ne muje bataya tha, ke woh muj pe marti hai,
toh muje bhi lagne laga tha, ke woh ek aisi ladki thi, jis ke saath jee bhar ke flirt kar lena chahiye..
utni hot item thi..
.
jab maine drinks lene ki wish bataayi, toh usey koi objection nahi tha..
aur hoga bhi kaise ?
usne khud hi aisi restaurant chuni thi, jaha hard-drinks serve ki jaati thi..
iiska matlab woh khud chaahti thi, ke mai pee ke mast ho jaau..
.
maine casually usey puchha, ke woh muje company dena chahegi drinks me..?
to woh taiyaar ho gayi..
.
Wow, ladki jab daaru ke nashe me mast ho jaati hai, to mard ko pura kachcha nigal jane ki taqat rakhti hai..
aur muje aise sherni ka shikaar karne me bada maza aayega..
.
uskey liye maine red wine order ki, aur khud ke liye vodka..
Restaurant hi kuchh aisi thi, ke ladies ka drinks lena koi odd, ya extra ordinary nahi lag raha tha.
.
"Tum Kitni Khubsurat ho..?" Maine do peg ke baad aakhir keh hi diya..
"magar muje to laga ke tum.. (gay ho..)"
"Afwaao pe mat jaao.."uska sentence pura hone se pehli hi maine usey kaat diya, "in other words.. don't believe every thing what you hear"
"Tab toh ye babhut achcha hai..so nice to learn the fact that.." woh muskurayi.
.
"Ab kya program hai ?" maine pucha,
"kya ho sakta hai..at least mere ghar me to meri mummy hai..so nothing can happen, what you suggest? " usne frankly puchh liya.
.
yes, i'll have to agree, she was quite frank and straight forward.
.
Ek pal ke liye muje laga ke mai sanjay ko fon kar ke keh du, ke aaj ki raat woh kahi aur chala jaaye, kyo ke aaj mai iis mast hasina se hamara bistar sajaane wala hu,
magar fir muje laga ke -No, that will be quite cruel for him.
toh maine Shefali se kaha -let's move into some hotel."
.
Uusne ek kateel muskurahat se, muje fir ghayal kar diya..
Raste me ek medical store se maine kuch condoms bhi le liye
aur fir ek hotel me kamra le liya..
kamra milna thoda muskil tha,
magar somehow we managed..
.
Bistar me nanga hote hi, usne muje apne ras-bhare chumbano se nehla diya..
bhukhi sherni ki tarah wo mere par tut padi..
mera lund, maano ke lohe ka hathouda bann ke, uske samne khada ho gaya..
.
maine uske muh me dena chaha..
magar woh boli -Oh Rajiv, aag to nichey lagi hai, iiski jagah waheen hai..put it there..
"But let us do some preliminaries.." maine suggest kiya..
"Ah.. forget all that..let's start the main course" usney sidhey chudai ke liye zor diya.
.
Uski bina baalo ki chut dekh kar, mere muh me paani aane laga tha..
maine nichey muh karke usey chaatne laga..
woh masti se pagal hone lagi..
,
fir shayad usey laga ke she too must return the favour, iisliye muje 69 ki position me kar ke mera lund chaat'ne lagi.
Maine usey uske muh me dalna chaha..
toh woh half-heartedly thoda sa andar lekar chusne lagi..
kuch der tak muh me andar bahar hote hi, mere lund ko itna maza aane laga, ke I felt as if i will die with lust and joy..
Maine apna lund aur andar ghusana chaha..
muje uske halak tak pahuchna tha..
magar woh pichhey hatt gayi..
,
"Kya hua..? maine uski chut me muh ke badle ungli daalte hue puchha..
"Look at your size, dear.. its so large..you are choking me with it.."
,
Mera lund kaafi bada hai..
ok..mai maanta hu..
magar...
Sanjay ka lund to mujse bhi bada hai..
How he must be managing..?
kiske muh me daalta hoga?
mere..?
.
Fuck, forget it.-maine socha
abhi, iis waqt woh GAANDU kyu yaad aa raha hai.
.
Mai khada hua..
lund pe condom lagaya
aur Shefali ki buur pe ragadne laga..
uski buur se kaafi juice behne laga tha,
aur kafi khul bhi gayi thi..
Kaafi chudi huyi lagti thi, woh..
.
iiske andar to ek saath do do lund bhi daal sakte hai..-mainie socha.
agar mere ghar me iis ladki ko le jaata, to shayad mai aur sanjay dono mil kar usey ek saath chod sakte the..-maine aage socha..
.
Magar..
magar woh to saala...
woh to saala, homo hai.
Woh kya kar payega...!
.
Agar woh homo hai,
woh agar meri LINE ka nahi hai,
mere kaam ka nahi hai, to fir kyo ?
kyo baar baar, abhi yaad aa raha hai..?
.
maine apna sar jhanjoda,
maano aisa kar ke uski yaad ke kidey ko mere dimaag se nikalna chaha..
.
.
fir apna lund uus ras-bhare chhed me daal diya..
bahar se badi lag rahi thi magar andar kaafi tight aur garam thi..
muje zabardast maza aane laga..
mai dhakke pe dhakke dene laga..
kariban 15 mins tak yeh chalta raha..
iis bich, Shefali ne do baar apna climax experience kiya, aisa muje uske expression se laga..
.
Mera climax bhi kareeb aa rha tha..
"Raajuu......Raajaa....Raaaju... " garam garam aaho ke beech muje aawaaz sunaai di..
.
Adh-khulli aankho se maine dekha, ke Shefali to apna lower-lip daanto ke bich daba kar, apni aankhey moond kar silently masti me chuur ho gayi thi..
to fir kaun muje aisi dheemi-dheemi garm-garm vasna-bhri aawaaz se behka raha tha..?
'Rajiv' ko 'Raju' kaun keh sakta hai..?
.
shayad mere zehen ki gehraai se muje aawaaze sunai de rahi thi..
par kiski thi wo aawazein?
.
Mujse raha nahi gaya..
bardaast ke bahar ka mazaa tha yeh...
.
Aaah..aaah..Sanjuuuuu....Sanjuuu....aaaaah...oh..ohh..ohh...shiiiiiit......aaahh..' kehte hue mere laude se dher sara love-juice behne laga..
Aur kuchh pal, mai usey apne niche daboch ke, uspe leita raha..
.
Do pal ke baad...
usne halke se muje apne upar se hataya..
aur baathroom me chali gayi.
.
kuchh der baad woh bahar aayi
maine apne lund pe se condom nikala
aur toilet me flush karne gaya.
pishab kar ke bahar aaya
to woh apne kapde pehan chuki thi.
.
"arey, kya hua.. ? why u getting dressed up?
"I think i shud move now..?
"but why,,? stay here...we have booked the room for whole night..?"
"nahi..muje lagta hai..ke I must go now.."
"toh kya mai akela rahunga yaha..? "
"nahi..akele kyu..? u can call Sanjay here. Abhi abhi, usey hi toh yaad kar rahe thhe" usne kadwahat bhari aawaaz se kaha..
.
Mai usey dekhta raha..
kuchh bol hi nahi paya..
apni safaai dena chahta tha, magar tab tak to kaafi der ho chuki thi..
woh chali gayi thi...
.
Oh Shit..!
ye ladka Sanjay...muje kahin bhi akela nahi chhor raha..
meri saari raat kharaab kar di usne..
.
Kuchh der tak, shayad ek do ghante tak, mai bistar me leita raha..
kabhi apni helpness ke baare me sochta raha..
to kabhi Shefali ke baare me..
really.. sex was great with here..
.
but strangely.. muje uus'se koi attachment, koi feelings nahi lag rahi thi..
uske jaane ka, koi gam ab nahi bacha tha..
sirf 2 ghanto me saara luv gayab ho chuka tha..
.
neend to kho gayi thi, meri aankho se,
fir bhi, kuch pal ke liye ankh lagi,
.
magar kariban 6 baje subah ko muje laga, ke ghar ja ke shower lekar taiyaar ho jaana chaiye,
kyu ke subah 9.30 ko meri MRI test hone ja rahi thi Dr.Deol ke thru, A.I.I.M.S me.
.
Iis liye kapde pehen kar hotel-reception pe gaya..
payment to pehle ho chuki thi..
ab sirf acknowledge karke, mai waha se taxi lekar nikal pada..
.
Thoughtfully, Sanjay ne muje ghar ki bhi chaabi di rakhi thi..
to ghar ka darwaaza khol ke mai andar gaya..
.
Andar ja kar, maine aawaz di, Sanjay ke naam ki..
magar koi response nahi mila..
Bed-room me, office me, toilet, kitchen..
sab khali pada tha..
Sanjay kahin nahi tha..
.
fir bed-room mein aaya
to dekha..
ke bistar par ek letter pada tha..
.
.
=========================(contd)

Part 6 ~
.
.
Uus raat, Shefali ke saath sex karte waqt, aur uskey baad bhi raat bhar, Sanjay ke khayal aatey rehne ki wajah se, mai kafi disturb raha..
Raat bhar so nahi paya..
Subah uuth kar mai ghar gaya, to Ghar par Sanjay nahi tha..
bed-room me bistar pe ek letter pada tha.
.
(Dear readers, aage padhne se pehle..
I, Ashit Maje, hope that you all know the meaning of the two terms used in the next paragraph. If not..here is a rough explaination.
1. FRIENDS WITH BENEFIT: It refers to the physical relationship between two unmarried friends, who engage in uncommitted sex acts. In some cases, one of the friend returns the favour to other guy in sexual manner without any emotional attachment. In simple words 'sirf time-pass ke liye sex karna..ya fir, kisi favour ke liye, friend ko sex ke thru, thanx kahna.
2. Dr.Jakyll and Hyde: Reference to the famous scottish novel, in which an evil person Mr.Edward Hyde, captures the mind of other gentleman Dr. Henry Jakyll several times, and makes him do the evil acts, without him knowing what he is doing. Mr. Hyde naam ka burey aadmi tha jo Dr.Jakyll ke mann par kabza kar ke usey burey kaam karwata tha.
.
So frnds, now carry on reading the story.)
.
Mai letter padhne laga-
"My dearest Rajiv,
Mai tuje toot kar pyaar karta hu..aur tere saath jo bhi hua hai us'sey muje puri sympathy hai.
Magar yaar, baat baat me, maare gaye tere taane, aur tere taunts ko mai ab jhel nahi pa raha hu.
Bahut jyada ho raha hai ab, mere liye.
Tu Mayank ko to jaanta hai na?
wohi, jis'se tu iisliye nafrat karta hai, kyu ke woh always mere pant me ghusne ki try karta rehta hai..
Khair, usne muje kaha hai, ke jab tak tera ye problem solve nahi ho jata, mai uskey saath reh sakta hu, 'friends with benefits' ke taur pe.
Agar badle me us'sey sex karna pade, to wohi sahi..aur kya kar sakta hu..!
Jab teri yaad-dasht wapas aa jaye, ya us'sey pehle bhi, agar tuje mera koi kaam ho, toh Mayank ka nmbr hai 97xxxxx125.
Tu chaahe jitna bhi muje reject karta rahe, par mai tuje hardam pyaar karta rahunga.
Muje malum hai,
I Know..ke tere Dr. Jekyll pe, Mr.Hyde ne kabza kar liya hai iisliye..
varna..
varna muje hurt karne ka tera koi iraada nahi hai..
Sanjay "
.
Maine khaali kamre me aaju baaju dekha
aur fir yaha waha bhaga.
Sanjay ki toiletries aur kaafi saare kapde gayab the.
.
Mai sochne laga, ke kya usne kal raat Mayank ke saath sex kiya hoga..?
Aur ek ajeeb baat hui..
mere me jealousy paida ho gayi..
shiiiiit....
kya chutiyagiri hai..?
aisa kyo hua mujme..?
.
.
Maine telephone liya aur Mayank ko lagaya..
Jab maine Sanjay se baat karna chaha to Mayank bola -
"Woh kaam pe gaya hai..aur tera, itni subah subah yaha fon karna, muje bilkul pasand nahi hai..BHADVE.."
aur usne fon patak diya..
.
Achanak muje ehsaas hua ke Sanjay ka fon nmbr kaha se laau..?
mere cell me scroll down kiya
to uska office ka nmbr tha..
fon lagaya to answering machine se aawaz aayi..ke 9.30 ke baad office hours me fon karo..
.
Mai kuch nahi kar sakta tha, sivaay ke wait karna.
Magar...
magar meri MRI test thi,
9.30 baje, abhi hi..kuchh hi der mein..
aur paper-work pura karne ke liye, muje unho ne jaldi bulaya tha.
Mai bhaga wash-room me..
tatti, pishab, shower, shave etc nipta ke dress-up hua.
Ek taxi le kar hospital gaya.
.
Imaging department dhunda, waha..
Andar check-in hua ke muje ek clip-board me dher saare forms, fill-up karne ke liye diye gaye.
.
Shiiit..
ab mere liye to itna saare sawaalat ke jawaab dena possible hi nahi tha.
Muje kahaan kuch yaad tha..
Sab jawaab mere zehen se gayab ho chuke the.
Muje Dr.Deol se milna tha..
but, where the fuck is he..?
.
Maine deewar ki ghadi ki aur dekha. 9.35 ho chuke the.
Maine sanjay ki office ka nmbr fir se lagaya.
Toh fir answering machine se aawaz aayee. -Mr.Ahuja here. I am away from my table for 15mins. Leave your tele nmbr and a short message. I'll call back u very soon.
.
I was feeling like crying..
muje realize hua, ke meri life ke aise critical mauke pe, muje Sanjay ki kitni jarurat hai.
.
Maine apne message mein, apne behaviour ke liye sorry kaha, aur jaldi hi hospital aa ke muje help-out karne ke liye usey request ki.
Aur apna nmbr bol kar fon-call puri kar di.
.
Fir Hospital ke kagazaat ke saath struggle karna shuru kiya..
10mins tak yeh chalta raha, tab mera cell-fon baj utha..
Sanjay tha.
Bola -"Don't worry honey, I'll be there in 15mins."
.
Sachmooch,
muje kitna achcha lagne laga ab.
.
Tab tak, meri baari aa chuki, aur mai andar gaya.
Ek attendant muje chhote se examining room me le gaya.
Ek middle-age ka, tall and slim mard maujud tha.
Usne apna haath badhate hue kaha -I'm Dr.Deol, kya tum ne apne forms fill-up kar diye hai ?
.
"Jee nahi.. muje answers pata nahi hai.. I have lost my memory, toh muje pata nahi ke kabhi muje chicken-pox hue the ke nahi, meri body me koi metallic cheez daali huyi ya nahi..muje diabetis hai ya nahi..ya fir any such answers I don't know.. Mera ek dost aaney wala hai muje help karne ke liye."
.
"No problem, let us proceed with MRI and you can complete the paper-work later"
.
MRI 2 stage me thi..
thodi bahut imaging
aur fir Frigid Holding Area me wait karna..
.
1st stage ke baad Holding Area me jaane laga,
uus waqt tak Sanjay aa chuka tha aur meri wait kar rha tha.
Usey dekh kar, in fact, muje firse rona aa gaya.
Mai akela aur helpless feel karne laga tha..
Madan, mere partner ko, toh aisa lagta tha, ke mai sab naatak kar raha tha, kaam ko taalne ke liye..
aise me, iis duniya me sirf Sanjay akela hi, mera true friend hai.
.
Usney muje apni baaho me le liya..
par iis baar, aisa karne se maine usey roka nahi..
.
uskey kandhe pe sar rakh ke mai roney laga..
aur us waqt, rotey rotey, maine apni feelings ko examine kiya.
Sanjay muje apne badan se muje comfort kar raha tha,
toh maine dekha ke woh achcha lagta tha muje,
magar haan, koi sexual feeling nahi aa rahi thi, mujme..
Uski khushi ke liye, muje aisa karne ka mann ho raha tha.
.
But then,
i could not conjure anything up..
Maine usii waqt kasam kha li, ke usey jo achcha lage, woh mai karne dunga. Ham log saath rahenge,
aur best friends baney rahenge.
Lekin mai usey, dusre mard ke saath sex karne ke liye request karunga,
aur mai kisi ladki ke saath karunga..
In short, ham log sirf aur sirf friendly room-mates bann ke rahenge..
.
Maine upar dekha aur kaha -"Sanjay, please ghar aa jaao. muje tumhari jarurat hai, iin sab se bahar aaney ke liye."
.
Usney mere gaal se aansu pochhey.
Maine aisa karne diya.
"Honey," woh bola, "mera samaan abhi bhi car me hai, aur hamari car apni garage me hi hai."
Ham dono ne ek duje ko dekha aur muskuryae.
.
"Thanx Sanjay" maine kaha.
Kuch der baat karte rahe
aur fir imaging ka second round shuru hua.
"Tu ja ke aa. Mai yahi hu." Woh bola.
Mai fir muskuraya..
Iis puri duniya se, mai kitna darra hua tha.
Mai apni thankfullness uske aage express na kar paya.
.
MRI puri hui.
Fir Sanjay ne muje forms me, meri medical history fill-up karne me help ki.
Dr.Deol ne papers dekhe
aur fir Sanjay ko bahar jaane ke liye kaha.
Sanjay meri taraf intensionally dekhne laga,
magar kuch na bola aur bahar gaya.
Muje nervousness aane lagi.
.
Mai kuch kahu, uus'se pehle Doctor bole -
"dekho, tumhara case RETRO-GRADE AMNESIA ka hai. iisme, kisi bhi haadse ke wajah se, achaanak memory chali jaati hai. magar sirf khaadse ke pehle waali yaad-dasht khatm ho jaati hai..aur haadse ke baad waali memory safe rehti hai.. jab ke ANDERO-GRADE AMNESIA mein iis'se ulta hota hai. Magar woh bahut rarely hota hai. Jab ke tumhe jo hua hai, woh kaafi common disease hai..nothing new. Lekin tumhara case, shayad aisa first case hoga, jisme tumhari sexual orientation bhi change ho gayi hai. Dr.Manju Khosla ne muje tumhare baare me sab bataya hai..magar don't feel uncomfortable about anything, just listen further. Muje internally aisi feeling ho rahi hai, ke I should study you further. Agar MRI me koi Brain-Damage dikhaayi diya, to woh particular spot, jaha tumhe injury hui hogi, wohi spot, sexual prefrence ko control karta hai, aisa muje lagta hai. Agar ham uus spot ko trace kar paaye to gay-world muje shabashi dega."
.
"Magar kyu? kyu shaabashi dega?" maine pucha..
.
Kyu ke us'sey ek baat permanently prove ho jayegi ke homosexuality kisi ki choice ki baat nahi hai..iike liye to woh particular spot hi jimmedar hai..Koi apni choice se gay nahi banta ye baat ham chhati thok ke keh payenge. Toh kya? will u allow me to conduct studies on you, after I have evaluated your MRI results ?
.
"Sure, why not?" maine kaha, "but tell me, aap kyo itne interested hai homosexuality ki wajah jan'ne me?"
.
"Well, u might not be knowing, but i'm cousin of Dr.Manju Khosla and her brother Manish, jisne homosexuality ki wajah se itna suffer kiya tha, ke bechare ne dipression me ja kar suicide bhi kar li. Aur mai chaahta hu, ke aage chal kar, kisi aur Manish ko aisi misleading medical treatment na miley, ke usey suicide karni pade. I presume you know Manish. Right..? ok..ok.. I'm sorry..tumko kaise yaad hoga woh..!"
.
Mai kuch nahi bol paya aage.
Mere case me further deep study karne ki meri permission le kar, baad me usne Sanjay ko bulaya
aur muje ghar le jane ko kaha.
.
Ham ghar wapas aa gaye.
Muje bahut bhukh lagi thi.
Isliye, ghar ja kar usne mere liye jatpat koi fast dish banani chahi.
.
Toh bread ka toast bana kar, fir usey besan ki paste me dubo kar, oil me deep-fry kar ke, toast-pakaude bana liye.
.
Usne muje kaha ke ye meri favourite dish hai.
Par muje koi khaas achchey nahi lage woh pakudey.
samaj me nahi aa raha tha ke kyu.
.
Pakaude baney tab tak baithe-baithey maine do peg whiskey ke bhi apne pet me udel diye they.
Khane ke baad muje neend aane lagi.
.
Last night me barabar so nahi paya tha..
aur saath saath daaru ka nasha bhi apna kaam kar raha tha.
Mai out of control hote chala.
Toh Sanjay ne muje bed-room tak sahara dete hue le gaya, aur muje apni pant utaar ke so jane ko kaha.
Maine pant utar di magar apni shorts pehne raha..
aur bistar me ja ke so gaya.
.
Kuch der baad need gehri ho chali
aur tabhi muje ek sapna aaya..
sapne me aisa laga ke koi mera lund chus raha hai..
muje agar lund ki koi chusaai yaad thi, toh wohi, jo Shefali ne thodi bahut ki thi..thode waqt ke liye usne jaisa bhi mera lund chusa tha, usey muje kaafi maza aaya tha..
.
Magar abki baar ki to baat hi kuch alag thi..
kuch alag kya, ekdam alag thi..
muje laga ke mai shefali ka sapna dekh raha tha..
magar nahi..
Jo bhi yeh shaahi kaam kar raha tha, woh muje baadsahi maza de raha tha..
aisi maza jo shefali ke bas ki baat nahi thi..
uski to saali, saanse rukne lagi thi thoda sa lund ander lete lete,
magar abhi to aisa lag raha tha, ke mere lund ki puri lambaai, maano ke muh ki gehraai me chali gayi thi
aur mere andue bhi uchal uchal kar andar ghusne ko anxious ho gaye the..
mere maal se bhare anduo ko pyaar se sehlaya ja raha tha..
aur mere tattey aur gaand ke bichwaale hissey ko pyar se sehla sehla kar mera maza dugna kiya ja raha tha.
dusre haath ki ungli se ahista ahista meri gaand ka chhed kureda ja raha tha..
ahista ahista diye jaane wale pressure se, ungli apna raasta banane lagi thi, bina koi pain dete hue,
aur halke sa masage ka jannati nasha chhane laga tha..
yeh sab ka maza kuch alag hi tha..
aisa maza jo Shefali nahi de paayi thi muje.
anduo me jama hua prem-ras ab samandar ki mauj ki tarah andar se bahar aaney ka zor dene laga..
meri climax nazdeek aa rahi thi..aur mai neend se jaagne laga..
.
suddenly muje realize hua, ke mai kahaan tha..
aur woh Sanjay tha jo ye karamaat kar raha tha..
muje bed se uchhal kar bahar aa jana tha,
Sanjay ko daantne ke liye..magar ye wo time tha jab mera maal nikalne ki puri taayari me tha..
uus waqt agar koi daayen, devil, dracula ya dragon bhi hota, jo mera lund chus raha hota, toh uus'se bhi mai duur nahi bhaagta..
.
(Guyz, I need not explain that stage, u all have experienced, ke uus waqt kisi ko rokna kitan mushkil hota hai..)
.
toh main aisa hi leita raha aur jo hone ja raha tha, usey hone diya..
yeah, but at that time i totally agreed to the fact that Sanjay is a fantastic cock-sucker..
.
Jab mere juice ki pichkaari mere lund se shoot hoti huyi purey josh ke saath uskey muh me takraane lagi,
tab maare masti ke, full volume me, mai aahey bharne laga.
Wo pichey nahi hata..
bilkul jhijak nahi thi..
woh mera maal ka taste lete hue nigalne laga..
aur mere lund uus waqt tak apne muh me liye raha, jab tak maine usey pakad kar bahar nahi nikala..
meri aankhe bandh thi..
marey khushi ke..ya maare sharm ke..
I don't know..
maine usey dekha nahi ke kab woh uuth kar meri bagal me aa ke leit gaya..
suddenly I felt his lips on my lips..
Maine muh fer liya..
I turned away.
.
"I'm sorry, Sanjay" maine softly kaha. "I'm genuinely sorry, magar we can't do this again. Tumne muje promise kiya tha ke agar mai tumhare saath raha, toh koi sex-play nahi hoga. Ya toh tum apni kasam rakho, or else I'll leave from this place. Magar ab ki baar mai proper arrangement karne ke baad hi jaaunga yaha se. Till that date, promise me, ke tum bed ki dusri side me hi rahoge..aur meri side bilkul nahi aaoge."
.
"I'm sorry, Rajiv" wo udaas hote hue bola. "Mai jab room me aaya, yeh dekhne ke tu sahi tarah so gaya hai ke nahi. Aaya toh dekha ke u were uncovered and your dick was quite hard, bulging out of your shorts..to mujse raha nahi gaya..but now i promise ke it won't happen again..aur ham, do single beds, jitna jaldi ho sakey khareed lenge."
.
usko pleading karte dekh, mai fauran shaaant ho gaya..muje yaad aaya ke maine subah hi hospital mein decide kiya hai ke mai us'sey achchi tarah pesh aaunga. Aur fir meri aankhe bhar aayi.
.
"As on today," maine kaha, "tumhe chhor ke jaane ki baat mere dimaag me sab se last hai..yaar, I need you very badly."
Muje rona aa gaya.
.
Maine dekha ke Sanjay muje apne arms me lene aage badha,
magar fir usney apne aap ko rok diya.
.
"Let me comfort you" usne kaha, "but I promise you no hanky panky"
.
Rotey rotey hi Maine hans diya
aur maine apni baazue uski aur failayi.
We gave each other a nice masculine hug
and I'll have to agree that he felt good against my nearly naked body.
.
"Tu bistar me leita rahe, mai kitchen me jaa ke dinner ki taiyari karta hu. Mai teri favourite dishes banane ja raha hu.
.
"Aur woh kya kya hogi?" maine innocently puchha.
"pehle starter mein manchurian soup..
fir main course mein paalak-mung dal fry,
khatti-mithi tindora chutney ke saath jeera wale aalu,
puff paratha,
suji ka halwa,
jafrani pulao,
aur dessert me vanilla ice cream vaali chilled coffee. How's that ?"
.
(Waise to Sanjay ke hisaab se toh, toast-bread ke pakaude bhi mere favourite thhe,
par tabhi koi excitement nahi feel hui thi, muje,
aur abhi bhi itni koi zyaada enthusiasm nahi aayi, mere me.
Toh kya memory aur sexual taste ke saath meri zubaan ka taste bhi change ho gya hoga..?
god knows.! )

"Wow.." mai bol pada.
iitni saari food-dishes banane ke uske efforts ko appreciate apne aap ho gya, mujse.

.
"I'll have to go shopping for some of this ingredients..thodi whiskey bhi laani hai..tu chalega?
ya sona chahta hai abhi bhi ?"
.
"tum ho aao" I yawned.
Woh darwaza bandh karke chala gaya..
.
Kuchh der me muje fir neend aa gayi..
aur ekdam ajeeb sa sapna dekha, maine..
.
par jyada ajeeb baat to ye thi, ke jaagne ke baad, muje wo dream ekdam achchi tarah yaad raha.
.
================================(contd..

Part 7 ~
.
Kal ki raat ki kam neend, aur kuch kuch daaru ke nashey ke kaaran, mai jab dopahar ko gehri neend mein tha,
uus waqt Sanjay ne, without my knowledge, mera lund chus liya..
Maine gussey me aakar, 'mai yeh ghar chhor jaaunga' -aisi dhamki bhi de di.
.
Maayus Sanjay ne promise kiya, ke aage aisa nahi hoga..
aur muje manane ki koshishe karne laga..
usme se ek koshish thi, mere liye mera pasandida dinner banane ki.
Uske liye necessary ingredients lene, woh super-market chala gaya.
Aur mai fir se soney laga..dil-o-dimaag me Sanjay ke khayalat bhar kar.
.
Aur neend me muje ekdam ajeeb sa sapna dekha maine..
(Aur jyada ajeeb baat to ye thi, ke jaagne ke baad bhi, muje wo dream ekdam achchi tarah yaad raha..)
.
.
Ekdam luxirous, shayad kisi 5star hotel ke bedroom ke bistar par, mai pura nanga leita hu.
Saath mein ek nihaayat hi khubsurat haseena hai, jiski khubsurti pe mar mitne ko koi bhi taiyaar ho jaaye.
Aur mere lund ko bhi yeh baat malum hai,
isliye wo bhi, pura tann ke, apni double size bana kar, uski khubsurati ko salaami de raha hai..
Ladki, usey pyaar se sehla kar, ahista ahista hila rahi hai.
Mai uske boobs ko dabaate hue, uski chunchiyo se khel raha hu
aur kuch kuch der me uney chus bhi leta hu.
.
Maine us'sey uska naam pucha, to usne apna naam Shefali bataya.
Ham dono ekdusre ko lipat gaya,
mai uske upar aa gya.
Aur apna kadak prem-danda uskey jannat ke darwaaze par tika kar andar entry maarne ki taag me hu,
.
tabhi 'dhadaam' se darwaaza khulta hai..
aur
Sanjay andar aa jata hai.
Woh bhi pura nanga hai
uska lund tana hua aur size mein muj se kaafi bada hai.
.
Hamey iis position me dekh kar woh chilla uthta hai..
"What the hell, Raajiv..! For heavan sake, u can't do this..! tuje malum hai, ke I love u. aur iis randi se jyada, mai tuje maza de sakta hu. Isko tere liye koi feelings nahi hai, jab ke mai tujpe jaan chhidakta hu.. How can u do this? Now, you'll have choose any one, from we two."
.
Mai hans diya
aur fir se uus ladki se lipat gaya.
Apna lund ek jhatke se uski choot me ghusa diya..
ladki ke muh se khushi ki aah nikal gayi.
.
Tabhi maine ek gun-shot ki aawaz suni.
Palat ke dekha, to Sanjay khoon se lathpath farsh par gira hua hai.
Gussey mein, ya fir mayusi mein aakar, usne apni jaan de di..
Woh...
woh mar chuka hai..
actually, usne mere par apni jaan chhdak di.
.
Mai jaag gaya.
Meri rooh chilla uthi.."Sanjay..Sanjay, don't die Sanjay..I love u"
magar meri rooh ki baat maan'ne se, mera dimaag inkaar kar raha tha.
.
Jaise hi muje realize hua, ke yeh toh ek sapna tha, toh meri body relax honey lagi.
Mai utha aur baath-room ki aur chal diya.
Pishaab karne laga, par mushkil ho rahi thi.
kyu ke mera lund ab bhi tanna hua tha,
aur dekha to woh pre-cum se geela ho chuka tha.
Maine paani piya, aur fir bistar me aa ke leit gaya.
Kuch der me fir neend aa gayi.

Woh sapna pichcha nahi chhor rha tha.. fir aa gaya wohi sapna.
Same-to-same.
.
Nahin..bilkul 'same-to-same' nahi..
Kyu ke..
jab Sanjay ne dono ke beech me choice karne ko kaha, to scene totally change ho gaya.
Mai dauda aur Sanjay se lipat gaya.
Hamare kadak lund ek dusre se ragadne lage.
.
Sefali bistar se khadi hui,
apne kapde pehne
aur room se chal di... chup chap.
uska koi intension nahi hai, apne aap ko maar dene ka,
mere pyar pe fida ho jaane ka, uska koi irada nahi hai.
.
Sanjay mere badan ko ahista ahista sehla raha.
Mai bhi wohi kar raha.
Kai der tak ek dusre ke lund sehlaate sehlaate hue, ham khade rahe..
Meri aankhey band hai, aur muje pata hi nahi chala ke Sanjay nichey baith gaya hai apne ghutno ke bal par.
Apna left hand, usne meri gaand ke upar se ghumate hue, dusri side se meri kammar, meri waist ko jakad liya,
meri taango ko apni hairy-chest se press karne laga
aur apne right-hand se mera lund pakad kar usey speed mein hilane laga..
Meri muth marne laga..
Uski muth maarne ki style ekdam perfect hai..
Woh bhali-bhaanti jaanta hai, ke dusre mard ke lund ko kaise handle kiya jaaye, kaise uski muth maari jaaye..
meri lund ki fore-skin uski muthi me upar-nichey, aage-piche ho kar mere cock-head ko stimulate kar rahi..
uski speed badhti gayi..aur saath saath mere jism ke andar ka pressure bhi..
.
ek haath se maine, baaju me rakhi chair ko pakad liya, dusra haath uske sar par rakh kar uske baalo ko pasaarta raha..

khadey khadey ,mere paanv kamzor hotey chale..
maathe pe pasina aane laga..
mere tattey tight ho kar upar ki aur simatne lage..
aur..
aur...
aakhir ek fantastic climax ke baad.. mere lund ne apna maal chhor diya.
mera love-juice ki pichkariya pur-jor se udne lagi aur uske haath, uske chehre ko mere prem se rangne lagi..
.
Meri neend tuut gayi..
Fuck,
Kitna real sapna tha woh.
Mai wakai pasine pasine ho chuka tha.
Jaag kar dekha toh mere jism ke nicheywale hisse par mera pura maal faila pada hai.. safed..gaaadha sa..garam..garam
.
Yes, the orgasm was real.
What does it mean ?
ek mard ka sexy sapna dekhte dekhte, mai climax achieve kar liya
toh kya, mai bimaari mein se 'achcha' hone laga hu ?
kya mai fir se gay bante ja raha hu ?
.
But..
but no..this can't be true,
this shouldn't be a reality,
because, I was still feeling so straight..
Totally straight...!
.
Mai shower me gaya.
Apne aap ko saaf kiya.
Mai jaanta tha, ke ab mai so nahi paunga.
Muje aur koi sapna nahi dekhna..
Kitne horrible, kitne confusing thhe wo sapne.
.
Maine kapde pehne aur bahar aa gaya.
Fir, newspaper padh kar apna dhyan baantne laga.
.
.
Kuch der me Sanjay aa gya.
"abey, yaha kya kar rha hai tu? why aren't you in the bed ?" he scolded me.
Usky dono haatho mein kaafi samaan tha..
.
"I can't sleep anymore. Can I watch you prepare dinner?" maine pucha.
Uske chehre pe jo khushi ki leher daud gayi, usey mai bayaan nahi kar sakta.
.
Saara saaman nichey rakhte hue woh bola, "Aur bhi saaman hai..mai baahar rakha hu, taxi se utaar kar."
keh kar woh bahar chala gaya, baaki samaan laane
.
Bechara Sanjay..
Kitna kuchh woh kar raha hai, mere liye..
.
At last, jab uske haath free hue to woh mere paas aya
aur muje lipatne laga..
.
Mai pichhey hatt gaya..shayad aadat se majbur hokar.
Naturally...he looked hurt again.
Lekin uski bhi toh yeh aadat thi, mujse physically contact karne ki.
.
Aur, mujey us'sey lovingly pesh aana tha, magr..
magar wo ek mard tha..
aur isiliye..
isiliye woh meri choice ke against tha.
.
Dinner lekar ham-dono ne kichen me safaai kar di..
kuch der TV dekha.
Mai keh sakta hu, ke woh kuch disturb tha...
aur shayad iisliye.. kaafi chupchaap bhi tha..
.
Finally usne meri taraf dekh kar kaha, "Jab tak ham 2 single bed nahi khareed lete, chal, ham iis double bed me baari baari soyenge. Yeh pura week tu sona iispar. Monday se pura week mai sounga..aur tu couch pe sona."
.
"Nonsense," bina sochey maine keh diya. "Yeh bed kaafi bada hai. Dono soyenge, magar track-pant pehen kar."
mai us'sey sympathetically co-operate.karne laga.
aur kuch der soch kar mai fir bola, "theek hai, chalo shorts pehen lenge,. Magar baaki 'cheez' ka dhyaan rakhna."
.
"It won't work," Sanjay ne kaha, "I love u, aur neend me, mai tujse lipatne jagunga tab kya karenge?"
.
"Agar lipatne tak ki baat hai, tab tak..it is ok. Magar fir, idhar udhar haath mat ghumane lagna. Yaar, let us give a try. Nahi to fir couch to hai hi. Saturday ko fir, ham 2 single bed le aayenge."
.
"Whatever u say Raajiv. Magar mere dil me ek feeling aa rahi hai, ke tu HAMARE bed me jyada din tak nahi soyega."
.
"Muje bhi ek feeling aa rahi hai, ke to jo sochta hai woh sahi hai." Maine kaha.
Muje uuse hurt karna nahi tha,
magar muje laga, ke shayad fir ek khanzar ghusa diya, maine uske siney mein.
.
"I'm sorry" maine baat ko samhalna chaha. "Yeh mere muh se achanak nikal gaya."
.
"It's Ok." woh bola. "Mai to yehi prayer karta rahunga, ke tujey fir apni pichchli baatein aa jaaye, aur tu waapas laut kar mere paas aa jaaye."
.
Aur fir ham so gaye, bistar ke alag alag corner par.
Kaafi der tak na mai so paya, na woh.
.
Fir subah jab alarm-clock baj uthi
to jaag kar dekha, ke hamdono ke badan ek dusrey ko chhu rahe thhey, magr thode thode. Koi aisi waisi baat nahi.
.
Sanjay ne ghadi dekhkar kaha, "from 2moro, We'll have to get up earlier. Pehle toh ham-dono saath saath shower liya karte thhey, aur morning ke baaki sab kaam bath-room mein, ek-duje ke saamne karne me, koi embarassment nahi hoti thi. But now I feel, we should do it seperately."
.
I agreed.
Aur dono ne decide kiya, ke kal se adha ghanta jaldi uuth jaya karenge.
Kaam pe jaane mein der ho rahi thi, to breakfast skip kardi hamne.
.
Maine Mc-Donald me break-fast kar ke, office gaya,
Aaj Friday tha
aur iisliye Market wale road pe kaafi traffic mili,
but somehow I managed to reach on time.
aur wahaan ekdam sahi sahi sab kaam kar paya..
din achcha guzra..
.
Shefali ki maa bimaar thi, toh usey achanak 15 days ki leave le thi.
Jo bhi ho, maine dusri clerk-ladki Sandhya ko apni secretary ke taur pe temperory promot kar liya.
Wo apne kaam me expert thi
aur mai uske kaam se quite satisfied tha.
Aur dusri taraf, mera partner Madan bhi mere kaam se itna satisfied tha, ke woh meri cabin me aaya
aur mujse puchhne laga ke, -kya actually muje Amnesia jaisa kuch hua bhi hai, ya mai usey chutiya bana raha hu..
.
Uusi waqt, Dr. Deol ka fon aaya.
Maine fon ka speaker, on kar diya.
Dr. Deol bole, "Gud morning Rajiv, tumhare MRI ke reports sab aa gaye hai. Monday ko mere consulting room me aa jaao, to tumahre ilaaj ke baare mein, ham baat karte hai."
.
Hamne appointment fix kar li..
aur fir unko 'haapy week-end' wish kar ke, maine Madan ko kaha, -"dekha saaley..? Ab to yakeen aaya"
.
Shaam ko mai office se ghar ki aur jaane laga.
Aur iis hafte mein hui sabhi ghatnaao ke baare me sochne laga.
Pichhle Monday Night ko Sanjay ke saath sex kiya aur uske baad yeh haadsa hua tha, ke mai apna sabkuchh bhul gaya hu. Iss baat ka pata muje tuesday early morning ko chala.
Tuesday night ko, woh porn DVD dekhte dekhte maine muth maar kar khud ko satisfy kiya tha.
Wednesday night ko Shefali se sex kiya tha.
Kal, thursday ko Sanjay ka sapna dekhte hue, apne aap mera maal nikal gaya tha..
.
Roz roz sex to hota tha, kisi na kisi tarah.
magar fir bhi,
aaj fir se dil kar raha tha..
koi ladki chahiye thi muje..
Sandhya kaafi simple and bholi-bhaali hai,
uskey saath to yeh galat hoga..
.
lekin aaj din mein, baato-baato me, Madan Delhi ke red-light area, GB Road ke baare mein kuchh zikr kar raha tha..
socha, kyu na waha try ki jaaye.
Maine apna raasta badal liya wahaan jane ke liye.
.
Fir sochne laga Sanjay ke baare mein..
Ab jab ke, meri tharak ekdam apni charam-seema par hai..
toh fir, I can imagine Sanjay's sexual tension too.
but I was helpless. I was useless for him.
.
Waise, uske saath ghar me bhi sab kuch theek-thaak chal raha hai..
Roz shaam ko mai aur Sanjay TV dekhte hai,
thoda bahut scrabble solve karte hai,
aur kaafi der tak walking bhi karte hai..
.
Ham dono achchey dost bante ja rahe hai, magar bina koi sex kiye huve.
Khair, uusne bhi iisi tarha apna mann mana liya hai, ke chalo atleast ham dono friends to hai..
Woh muje continuously, apni pichhli zindgi ke baare me bata raha hai.
Muje kuchh yaad nahi aa raha..
magar itni to credit, usey deni chahiye, ke itna sincerely, itni mehnat se usne jo jo baate muje bataayi, ke wo sab muje puri puri yaad reh gayi.
I can now tell a lot about my life, without having actually experienced it.. :-)
.
.
Sochte sochte mai G B Road pahuch gaya.
Wahaan ka mahoul dekh kar, uusi waqt wahaan se bhaag jaane ko dil kiya, raat guzaarne ka toh sawaal hi nahi raha.
.
None of the girls, was of my choice..
Aur mahhoul ekdam ghatiya..ekdam ganda..
mayoos ho kar mai laut gaya
.
Magar fir bhi, raaste par se ek theek-theek khubsurat ladki ko maine utha liya..
lekin usko lekar hotel me jana, muje SAFE nahi laga..
muje laga, iisey ghar hi le jana chahiye.
.
toh maine Sanjay ko fon lagaya, yeh kehne ke liye, ke aaj ki raat woh kahi aur theher le,
kyu ke muje uski presence me kisi ladki ke saath sex karna, comfortable nahi lagta tha.
.
Maine usey fon lagayai, toh uskey end pe kaafi shor-sharaba tha..
uski aawaz saaf sunai nahi de rahi thi..
par utna jaan paaya, ke woh koi gay-party attend kar raha hai, aaj friday jo hai.
Usne wahaan kisi studd-ladke ko pataya hai, aur uske saath, uskey ghar ja raha hai.
.
"Feel free to use OUR bed", usne muje kaha
and...
and I was jealous.. !
Insanely jealous..!
.
Muje mere re-action pe yakeen nahi aa raha tha..
Yeh kaise ho sakta hai..?
Why should I be jealous, if he is sleeping with some other guy?
muje ye jealousy ki feeling ko duur karna hoga..immediately..!
.
Woh ladki ke saath sex theek-thaak raha..
HAMARE bed par, maine kaafi achcha 'perform' kiya.
Magar woh ladki raat bhar thaherne ko taiyaar nahi thi..
toh kuch hi der me wo chali gayi.
Mai akela reh gaya ghar par
aur jald hi akelapan feel karne laga.
.
Mai iiska aadi nahi hu.. I am not accustomed to sleep alone.
Mai soch mein duub gaya..
.
Mai sochne laga..parso Monday ko meri MRI ki reports aa jayegi,
sirf 2 din baaki hai..
fir pata chal jayega, ke meri memories laut aayegi, ya nahi..
aur agar koi hopes hogi, toh further treatments bhi start ho jayegi.
lekin...
toh kya..mai fir se gay bann jaunga..?
.
Magar..
magar, mai toh nahi ban'na chahta gay..
kya memories ka ek faida paane ke liye, gayness ka ek bada sa nuksaan bhi uthana padega, muje..?
I don't know..
.
to fir ?
to fir kya karu mai..?
kya reports milne ke baad, Dr.Deol ki further treatment stop kar du..?
kya karu..?
kya karu mai..?
.
Oh God....!
=================================(contd..)
(8) ~
.
GB Roadwaali call-girl to maza karwake paise lekar chali gayi
aur Sanjay toh apne kisi nayi DATE ke saath, uskey ghar gaya tha.
toh, mai akele reh gaya ghar par,
aur soch mein duub gaya..

Mai sochne laga..parso Monday ko meri MRI ki reports aa jayegi,
sirf 2 din baaki hai..
fir shayad pata chal jayega, ke meri memories laut aayegi, ya nahi..
aur agar koi hopes hogi, toh further treatments bhi start ho jayegi.
lekin...
toh kya..mai fir se gay bann jaunga..?
.
Magar..
magar.. I don't want to become a gay..
kya memories ka ek faida paane ke liye, gayness ka ek bada sa nuksaan bhi uthana padega, muje..?
I don't know..
.
to fir ?
to fir kya karu mai..?
kya reports milne ke baad, Dr.Deol ki further treatment stop kar du..?
kya karu..?
kya karu mai..?
Oh God....!
.
Kaafi confused aur uncomfortable feel kar raha tha mai, yeh soch kar ke, mai kya chahta hu?
Sanjay toh abhi kisi ladke ke saath enjoy kar raha hoga, aur mai..
yahaan akela..!
Kaafi mayoos hota chala, mai..
.
lekin uusi waqt..
to my utter surprise..
Sanjay laut aaya, aur mere chehre par muskaan bhi..
.
Uskey fresh honey ke baad, ham dono ne whiskey ke peg banaaye
aur saath piney baith gaye..
Dono ne sirf shorts pehni hue thi.
.
"Muje laga ke tum raat bhar thaher kar aaoge" maine kaha.
"Raajiv, you know it, but u don't remember," Sanjay ne meri aur dekha,
aur kaha, "most of the quickies, aur one-night-stands mein, raatbhar nahi thehrna hota. No sleepovers. Raat ko thaher ne ki baat to tab aati hai, jab dono ke beech mein, Relationship mahekne lagti hai"
"Jaise tumhari aur meri..." mere muh se nikal gaya.
Lekin, I swear, mere dil me aisa kuch nahi tha.
.
Sanjay stunned ho gya.
muje ek-tak dekhne laga.
ab muje kuch to kehna hi padega, jaldi hi, "I mean, hamari mahekti friendship" maine jatt se explain kiya.
.
Aur fir subject ko change karne ke liye, usey mere recent, ladki ke saath wale sex-encounter ki , chhoti-chhoti detail ke saath, sab batane laga.
Usney bhi apne, uus stud-boy ke saath wale sex-session ki baatein batayi.
Ham dono ne kya kiya, woh realize hote hi, ham dono hans pade.
.
Tabhi maine ek aur wrong statement kar di.
"But I swear, muje tumhari bilkul jealousy nahi ho rahi." maine bina sochey keh diya.
Uskey chehre par dard ki ek lakeer fir daud gayi.
.
Jitna mai baazi samhalne ko ja raha tha, utna kahin na kahin mai usey hurt karne ki, koi na koi galti kar hi baithta.
Muje realize hua..magar kafi late, ke shayad woh uus ladke se sex iisliye karne gaya tha, taaki mere dil me, chahe thodisi bhi, magar jealousy paida ho..uske liye, mere mein kuch posessiveness aaye,
.
Aakir baat badalte hue, maine kaha -"meri MRI ki reports aa chuki hai aur Dr.Deol Monday morning ko consulting ke liye bula rahe hai. Tum agar office se off le sako toh, I'll like you to come with me."
.
"Ok, I'll take an off, and will be with you." usney soft, very soft tone mein jawaab diya.
Kitni aasani se woh apne aap ko, immediately samhaal leta hai..!
I admire this boy..
.
.
Fir ham so gaye..Bed ke opposite corner pe.
Dusri din, Saturday morning jab mai jaaga,
toh dekha ke mai Sanjay ko lipat ke so rha hu.
Mera lund uski gand se press ho raha tha.
Sanjay abhi bhi neend me tha..ya fir neend me honey ka dhong kar raha tha..
Jaagne par mera pehla re-action tha, ke mai Sanjay ke badan se alag ho jaau.
Magar, mai apne aap ko iis duniya mein itna mayoos, itna helpless, itna akela mehsoos kar raha tha, ke us'sey lipatne me muje kaafi comfort milta tha.
Tabhi mujey khyal aaya, ke sab logo ki tarah aur har roz ki tarah, subah subah mera lund bhi khada ho chuka hai.
Maine mehsuus kiya ke uski gaand me mera kadak lund press ho raha hai..
toh mai cautious ho gaya..
Meri erection chali gayi..
immediately lund dheela honey laga.
Mai jaanta tha, mere lund ke dheeley ho jaane se Sanjay disappoint ho gaya hoga magar khair...
.
Mai khada hua
aur apna daily routine niptane laga..
Woh bechara mayoos sa leita raha.
.
Uus din meri tabiyat achanak kharaab ho gayi..
din bhar sar-dard raha, without any reason..
Sanjay bechara pareshaan raha mere liye,
he genuinely felt worried for me,
and i genuinely felt sorry for him..
.
Shaam ko jaa ke kuch relief mili..
I was feeling quite fresh..
to Sanjay bhi apna normal mood me aaney laga..
.
Usney muje puchha -"aaj dinner me kya khaoge?"
"Tum kya sab khana paka lete ho kya" maine casually puchha.
Usney sar hila kar haan kaha.
.
"I'm sorry," maine kaha. "I really have to learn how to cook, so that mai bhi kuchh
helping hand bann saku."
.
"I really don't mind," Sanjay bola. "Cooking is a kind of my hobby. You don't have to learn."
.
"Fir bhi, mai chahta hu ke tum muje sikhaao. Do you have any idea for tonight? Hamlog aajse hi apne lessons start kar de."
Sanjay hans pada..
aur mera haath thaam liya..
.
achanak usey khyaal aaya, ke hamaari jo shart thi, usey woh dis-obey kar raha hai,
toh usney fauran mera haath chhor diya...
pata nahi kyu, magar mai us'sey keh nahi paya, ke mujey is baat se koi problem nahi thi.
.
Uus raat ham so gaye..
aur Sunday morning fir wohi hua..
mai usey lipta raha,
aur neend khulne par, apne aap ko ek jhatke mein, alag kar diya..
Aaj fir woh, meri iis harkat se disappoint ho gaya tha.
Mai wash-room me ja kar, naha dho kar bahar aaya, freshly shaved and showered. Sanjay bed pe baitha hua tha..
.
Wo meri taraf muskuraya aur mai bhi.
"Tu toh saale, ek randi ki tarah mahek raha hai" usney mujey pok karna chaha.
"Magr dost, yeh sab tumhare liye nahi hai." maine innocently jawab diya. "Mai kisi mast patakha ladki ko behkana chahta hu, iin sab se" maine aankh maarte huey kaha.
.
"seriously yaar," usne baat badal di, "ham log barso se mandir nahi gaye. Chal, aaj sunday hai, toh Devi Maa ke charno me maatha tek kar aatey hai. Mai teri recovery ke liye, Mata-Rani se dua maangna chahta hu. Tu saath chalega, toh achcha rahega"
.
"Sanjay, I don't know, ke mai achcha hona chahta hu, ke nahi. Mai apna business achchi tarah handle kar sakta hu. Meri income mein koi fark nahi pada hai, aur na hi meri health mein koi problm hai. Jara iis baat ko socho. Ho sakta hai, ke mai kisi khubsurat ladki se ishq kar lu, us'sey shaadi kar ke bachchey paida kar lu. Won't that be fantastic?"
.
Ek baar fir, jo mujey sachcha aur achcha laga woh mai bol diya..
aur muje malum tha, ke usey yeh sach kaduwa laga.
Uska muh itna chhota ho gaya, ke maine usey almost pakad kar hug kar liya... ALMOST
.
"Chal ham mandir chalte hai.." maine kaha..
magar uska chehra koi jyada kheel nahi paya..
.
Ham mandir gaye.
fir waha se hamne Central-Park jaane ka decide kiya..
na toh muje Central-Park yaad tha, aur na hi muje mandeer ke puja-paath ki koi vidhi yaad thi..
magar har kadam par, Sanjay ne muje guide kiya..
.
mujey har kadam par uske guidance ki jarurat pad rahi thi..
aur usko chhor kar jaaney ki meri itni saari dhamkiyo ke baavjud, muje malum tha, ke mai woh kar nahi paunga.
.
Ham garden mein ek bench par baith gaye.
Meri pichhli zindgi ki dher saari baatein karte hue Sanjay ko, ek pal bhi thakaan nahi mehsus ho rahi thi.
Saath saath mein, woh muje sex ki uun sab baate bhi batata raha, jisme muje kaafi maza aata tha.
.
Ab, woh sab sexual acts, mai kabhi kar bhi sakta hu, aisa imagine karna bhi mere liye muskil tha.
Haan, itna toh hai, ke ab muje uski aisi baato se suffocation nahi ho rahi thi,
magar uskey saath sex karne ki, koi ichcha bhi toh nahi ho rahi thi.
Aur mai yeh bhi jaanta tha, ke agar maine Sanjay ko kho diya, toh mai puri tarah khatm ho jaunga, at least mentally, if not physically.
Mai usey chhor nahi sakta, yeh hakiqat mere dil-o-dimag mein puri tarah ghar kar gayi thi.
.
Oh shit, muje suddenly yaad aaya, kal saturday ko, 2 single beds lene the.. woh to liye hi nahi..
Khair, chhoro, next week-end pe le lenge.
.
Mera mann muje yehi puchh raha tha, ke kya actually muje 2 single bed lene hai..
at least, Sanjay ko toh nahi lene thhe, that i was quite sure.
.
Ham ghar aaye
aur baki ka din waise hi cooking sikhne me, aur daaru piney me pura ho gaya..
Raat ko sotey waqt, mere dil aur dimaag me conflict hona shuru ho gayi.
Dil chahta tha ke mai fir se gay ban jaau. Sanjay ko whole-heartedly woh sab du, jiska woh haqqdaar hai.
Jabke dimaag kehta tha, kya jarurat hai ? pichhli memories na bhi laut aaye to kya farq padega..waise bhi meri income aur sehat me toh koi farq pada nahi hai..at least iis gay-giri ka risk toh nahi uthana padega..
.
and at the end..
mere dimaag ne victory haansil kar li..
maine decide kiya ke Dr. Deol ke saath yeh aakhri mulaqaat hogi..
ab iis'se aage..
nothing doing..
.
Dusre din, Monday morning ko ham Dr.Deol ki clinic me gaye.
Mai kaafi nervous tha.
MRI mein kya aaya hoga?
ab jo bhi ho..muje ab ekdam firm hi rehna hai..
.
Cabin me jaate hi, Doctor ne hamdono ko greet kiya.
aur sidha main topic pe baat karna shuru kiya.
"Rajiv, tumne night-table ke corner se apna sar takra diya tha. Aur us'se yeh hua hai, ke brain ka woh hissa, jo memories se associated hai, waha ek very tiny blood-clot paida ho gaya hai. But don't worry, ham long laser-beam ke thru, uus blood-clot ko dissolve kar sakte hai. Lekin, us'sey tumhari memories waapas aayegi ke nahi, uski koi guarantee nahi hai..similarly tumhari sexual preferences mein bhi fir se badlaav aayega ke nahi, wo bhi koi andaza nahi. Lekin tumhari MRI ke waqt, jaise maine kaha tha, ke tumhare brain ke yeh particular spot hi tumhari sex ki pasand-napasand ko decide karta hai. Tum fir se homosexual ban jaaoge, to meri toh life bann jayegi. Meri life ka main aim fir wohi hoga, ke aage jaake, mai brain ke uusi spot ke upar, aur advanced research karu. Hetro aur homosexuals ke dimaag ke wohi hissey pe concentrate kar ke, mai differnciate karna shuru karunga. Ok..? toh fir Wednesday ko operation kar dalte hai."
.
Sanjay ne mera haath pakda aur muskuraya..
uska pyaar shayad jaldi hi waapas milne wala tha, usey.
.
magar maine apna haath khinch liya..
"Agar mai operation na karwana chahu to? what, if want to remain hetrosexual?"
maine Sanjay ki feelings ki parwaah kiye bina, boldly puchh liya..
.
"I can understand your feelings," Dr.Deol mukuraye,
fir mera haath apne haatho me lekar aage bole, "lekin my brother, operation nahi karwane ka koi option, maine diya hi nahi hai tuje. You see, It's very dangerous to live with the clot in your blood. Brain tissues se alag ho kar, woh clot, blood me travel karte karte, tere heart tak bhi pahuch sakta hai. Raajiv, do u get me..? after that it may even cause a STROKE, a massive heart-attack. Can u imagine ? you may even die in the near future."
.
Mai speechless ho gaya..
Sanjay ne fir muje thaam liya..
"Lekin meri memories, wapas restore karne ki koi guarantee to aap de nahi rahe. fir kya zarurat hai..?"
"U are right. But I don't know anything.. Mai to sirf utna jaanta hu, ke tere brain ka yeh clot remove karna absolutely jaruri hai, for the sake of your long-life. ekdam simple procedure hai yeh. tumhare cranium mein.."
"Cranium..?"
"yeah, tumhari khopdi.. uus mein do chhote..ekdam chhote, chhed bana ke micro-camera aur laser-beam andar dalenge, aur uus clot ko melt kar denge. Wednesday ko agar operate kiya, toh by thursday evening, you can even go home. arey, latest by Friday. Mai tuje request karunga dost, ke iis killer ko hatane mein, tu bilkul hesitate mat ho."

"Please.." Sanjay ne kaha, "karwa lo operation"
Mai chup raha..aur firm bhi.
.
Meri silence se mere inkaar ki buu aa rahi thi, jis'se Dr.Deol ka chehra sakht hota chala.
"And for your information, Mr. Rana", doctor ki awaaz me bhi, ab sakhti aane lagi, "Aapne jo forms fill-up kiye hai MRI se pehle, according to that, Sanjay aapka MEDICAL SURROGATE hai. Hamlog chahein to ham declare kar sakte hai, ke aap apna decision lene ke kaabil nahi rahey ho. mere paas aapki MRI reports hai, iis ke support mein. And also, we can go to the court and get the orders from there, to carry on the necessary procedures and treatment."
.
As a lawyer, muje malum tha, ke MEDICAL SURROGATE kisey kehte hai.
Kabhi kabhi mareez ki umar, ya haalat aise nahi hotey, ke apna bhala-bura woh khud soch sakey.. for example new-born infants, young-minor children, people in long comma-state, and the people with such psychiatric or psychological conditions, jiski sochne ki taaqat damage ho chuki ho.
Muje last catagory me gina ja sakta hai, agar woh log chahe to.
Medical ethics ke mutabik, normally doctors ki yeh duty hoti hai, ke woh patient ke decision ka respect kar ke, usey maane.
Magrm doctors ki ye bhi duty hoti hai, ke woh patient ke benefit, uske bhale-bure ke baare me bhi sochey..
aur yeh baat bilkul patients ke benefit mein nahi hoti, ke kyu ke woh decision nahi le sakte, to unko sahi medical treatment na di jaaye.
In other words, aise cases mein patient ke decision se jyada importance, uske medical surrogate ke decision ko diya jata hai, aisa maan kar, ke woh, patient ka bhala-bura, patient se bhi jyada achchi tarah se sochte hai.
Minors ke cases mein, unke parents ko yeh right hoti hai,
aur adults ke cases mein, unke medical surrogate ko yeh decision power milta hai.
Medical Surrogate kaun hota hai..iiske jawaab mein..
husband or wife, any adult son or daughter, adult grand-children, adult friend ( jisey power of attorney di gayi ho), woh automatically aise patients ke medical surrogate bann jaate hai.
Aur maine woh power of attorny Sanjay ko diya tha, MRI ke forms fill-up karte waqt.Yeh baat, ab mere dimaag mein click ho gayi..
.
Ab agar Sanjay chahe, to woh apni power ka istemaal kar sakta hai, mujey fir se gay-world me khinch laane ke liye..
meri mental condition unstable bata kar, woh meri man-chaahi treatment karwa sakta hai, meri marzi ke against ja kar bhi...
.
Mai chuup ho gaya...
=========================== (contd..)

Part 9a ~
.
.
Meri MRI Reports ke hisaab se,
mujey operation karwa lena chahiye, agar muje life-long safely jina ho to.
Lekin us'se meri yaad-dasht waapas aa jayegi, iski koi guarantee Doctor nahi de rahe thhe.
Besides agar memories laut bhi aayee, to shayad mai firse gay bann jaau, jo ke muje manzur nahi tha.
Aur isiliye mai operation karwane ko hesitate kar raha tha.
Sanjay ko Power of Attorney de kar, maine usey mera Medical Surrogate bana diya tha.
Aur woh chahe to apna power istemaal kar ke, mere MRI Report ka supoort lekar, court me mujey mentally-disabled prove karke, operation karwane ka court se statuatory order bhi la sakta tha.
.
Really..?
No..
Kyo ke, mujey uus par pura bharosa hai..
woh koi zabardasti nahi karega, aur na hi honey dega..
woh meri wish ko surely respect karega.
.
Magar, mai ab nayi conflict me aa gaya tha.
Itna to mai samazta tha, ke meri koi bhi zidd itni badi nahi hai, ke jo meri jaan ki salamati se bhi

badi ho.
Simple truth hai yeh, ke brain me jo dangerous blood-clot hai, usey nikaalna hi hoga, agar mujey

safely jeena hai, toh.
magar..toh fir muje kya karna chahiye..?
.
.

Aakhir, Maine apni haar maan li.. aur operation ke liye haami bhar di.
Sanjay ne relief ki saans li.
.
"Good," Deol bhi abhi muskura diye.
"Dr. Manju Agarwal ne jo preliminary tests liye hai, uske reports abhi fresh hai, to unhey mai, surgery ke liye medical clearance ke taur par, istemaal kar sakunga. Iisliye dobara wohi sab test karne mein time-waste karne ki koi jarurat nahi." unho ne apni opinion zaheer ki.
.
Fir unho ne apne drawer se ek paper nikaal kar muje diya. "Neuro-surgery ke liye sab instructions isme diye gaye hai. Padh lo. Aur parso, wednesday ko subah 7.30 ko aa jaao. Ham operation kar hi lete hai."
.
Mai office gaya.
Madan ko saab haal bataya -ke pura week mai nahi paunga.
Jitne ho sakey utne cases nipta kar, baaki ke cases apne associates ke hawale kar diye.
Din pura hua, to Madan ne muje hug karte hue 'All the Best' kaha,
aur thursday ko mujse milne aane ka wada kiya.
.
Sanjay ne tuesday se thursday/friday tak ki leave le li.
Dono ka din ekdam busy gaya.
mere ghar pahuchne ke 5mins pehle hi wo ghar me aaya tha.
Muje dekh kar woh apni promise bhul gaya, aur mujse lipat gaya..
Aaj maine usey waisa karne diya.
Uski annkhey chhalak uthi..
.
"All will be fine..." maine kaha.
"Ek baat kahu" usne pucha.
"yeah, sure"
"I don't care what u are praying for. But I'm praying for you, to come back to me, once again."
.
"Jo bhi hona hai, ho," maine kaha. "But Sanjay. I don't think we must think about it, much."
Sanjay ne ACTUALLY ek heart-breaking aah bhari, aur bed-room ki taraf bhag utha.
.
Puri shaam woh udaas raha..
Jab ham soney gaye, tab bhi woh apne aap me nahi tha.
Mai reh nahi saka..apne rules khud hi tod diye maine.
usey apni baaho me bhar liya,
aur chhote bachche ki tarah usey sulane laga,
itna dhyan rakhte hue ke mera lund uske badan ke kisi part ko touch na kar jaaye.
.
Uus raat ko, I mean, monday night ko, muje neend nahi aa rahi thi.
Aaj subah ko meri MRI report study ki gayi aur uskey baad, ab parsho wednesday ko mera operation honey wala hai.
Maine Sanjay ko raai di ke -"hamey ab jyada nahi sochna chahiye"
.
Poor guy..!
woh toh apni udaasi samete hue neend ke hawale ho gaya,
magar der raat tak, mai jaagta raha..
Pata nahi, operation ke baad kya honewala hai.
Mere baaju me, bed ke opposite end par Sanjay soya hua tha.
Mai uske chehre ko nihaarta raha.
Kitna masoom sa, kitna innocent naujawan hai..
kya iiske dil mein koi bhi paap ho sakta hai..?
kya iiske dil me koi bhi selfishness hogi..?
"Nahi. Never. Aisa kuchh nahi hoga iiske dil mein.." ab ki baar mere dil and dimaag dono ka jawaab similar tha..
aksar mere dil ki baat, mera dimaag nahi manta tha,
aur kai baar iis'se ulta bhi hota tha..
magr, this time both of them agreed with each other.
.
Dr.Deol ki office mein, ek pal ke liye muje afsos toh hua tha apna power of attorney, Sanjay ko dekar, usey apna Medical Surrogate banane ke liye..
magr, very soon I got myself recovered from that mis-thinking.
.
khair, thank gaya mai sab sochte sochte,
aur fir bor hokar bistar se khada ho gaya..
Sanjay ko uthana theek nahi samja maine..
socha, hospital mein le jaane ka kuch samaan ikattha kar liya jaaye.
.
uuthkar apne wardrobe ki aur gaya..
Dr.Deol ne diya tha, woh requirements ka list nikaal kar check karne laga.
Kuch toiletaries aur personal cheezein thi, jo ke bath-room aur ward-robe mein se mil aaye..
kuchh samaan medical store se khareedna padega, aisa laga..
ek woollen monkey-cap bhi thi list mein, jo shayad iis season mein na miley kahiin,
aur shayad apne ghar me yeh already maujuud ho, toh, toh koi problm hi nahi..
yeh aisi item thi, jo day-to-day istemal ki nahi hai..
aisa soch kar usey maine dressing table ke drawer me dhundna chaha..
.
Drawer tatola kuch der tak..
tab jaa ke kaafi deep-inside, muje ek motti-si black cover waali note-book nazar aayee, jiske nichey ek woollen cap dikhi muje.
"Yeh to office ka stuff hai..isey to office me hona chahiye, ye yaha kya kar rahi hai..?" aisa soch kar, uus note-book ko wahaan se nikala,
aur apney bed ke side table pe rakh diya..
tabhi uskey nichey muje monkey-cap bhi mil aayi..
mere chehre par halki si satisfaction ki lehar daud gayi..
.
sab samaan, jo bhi ikattha hua tha, usey ek bag mein bhar diya..
ekaad peg whiskey ka pi lu, to shayad neend thikse aa jaye, aisa soch kar ek peg bana laya, aur bistar pe baith gaya..
ahista ahista chuski bharte bharte maine woh note-book uthaai aur uskey panney palat'te hue overview karne laga..
kab whiskey ka peg pura ho gaya pata hi nahi chala..
***********

Operation ke baad Dr.Deol operation-room se bahar aaye,
aur waiting-room mein Sanjay se milkar uskey kandhe par haath rakh kar usey kaha -"Operation as routine hi tha..achcha ho gaya hai..nothing to worry..Sar pe thode baal shave kiye hai utna hi, baaki woh pehle jaisa hi dikhega. Kuch kuch hosh mein hai woh..ICU mein le kar gaye hai..wahi rakhenge usey. U can visit him in some time."
"What about his memory and his.." Sanjay ne pucha..
"It'll be too early to tell anything about those things." Sanjay ki baat puri hone se pehle hi, unho ne jawab diya. "Abhi tak woh foggy hai, give him a few hours to regain his senses completely"
.
Sanjay, nurse ko puchhte hue ICU mein aaya..
mai aadhi neend mein tha..
.
"Still sleeping..dawaai ka asar hai.." saath me aayi nurse ne kaha. "but you can sit at his bedside, if you want."
"yeah, i would like to sit" kehkar Sanjay mere paas baith gaya.
.
Jaise hi nurse gayi..Sanjay ne parda laga diya.
Fir mere maathe par kiss kiya..
halka sa..
masum sa..
aur kursi par baith gaya.
Mera haath apne haath mein lekar, thoda sa zor dekar dabaya..
woh samaj nahi paya, magar meri aur se, mere haath ka thodasa dabav, usne bhi mehsus kiya hoga.
.
I continued to doze for over an hour.
uus darmyaan thodi thodi der mein Sanjay ne socha hoga, ke mai jaagne wala hu, magar mai har baar fir se neend me chala jaata.
At last, Sanjay bhi baithe baith neend ke jokey khane laga.
Ham dono ek dusre ke haath ko dabaye hue sotey rahe...der tak.
.
.
Maine dekha, ke parde lagey hue hai, aur hamey kaafi privacy mili hui hai.
Palang ki corner par sar rakhkar, mera haath dabaye hue woh so raha tha.
Maine apna sar janjoda, ye jaan'ne ke liye ke mai kahaan hu,
aur ghar se, mai yaha kaise aa gaya.
.
Itna to fix tha, ke mai ghar par nahi hu.
Ghar pe hota toh, Sanjay bistar mein mere saath soya hota.
Apna dusra khaali haath, maine uske resham se mulayam baalo me ghumaya.
pichhle 10 din me kya kya ho gaya..
Monday Night ko mere sar me aisa zakhm hua jiska muje khud ko pata nahi chala.
Pata chala to Tuesday Morning ko, ke uus ki wajah se meri past-memories aur meri gay feelings gaayab ho chuki hai and I became totally blank. Sanjay ne muje ghar par foto-album dikhakar aur garden mein morning walk lete-lete sab yaad dilane ki koshish ki. Hotel me lunch lekar ghar aaye, aur dopahar 3 baje Dr. Manju se mile, jisne mere Preliminary Tests liye, aur thurday ki, Dr.Deol ke saath appointment fix kari. Shaam ko woh, hamari favourite and permanent Hotel Food-Land mein lekar gaya, aur hamare regular friends se indirectly, pehchaan karvaai. Drinks n dinner ke baad, ghar aakar hamne Ek Gay aur ek hetro Porn DVD dekhi, mere re-action jan'ne ke liye, jo Sanjay ne dusre din, Dr.Manju ko bataye honge, aur unho ne in-turn Dr. Deol ko report kiye honge.
Dusre din Wednesday morning ko Sanjay ne muje apni office ka address aur baaki staff ke baare me guide kiya, aur muje office bheja. Dinbhar kaam ke baad, apni secretary Shefali ke saath, ek hotel me sex kiya, aur akele raat guzari.
Next day Thursday Morning ko ghar gaya, to Sanjay ruth kar ghar chhor ke chala gaya tha, aur tabhi meri MRI bhi honewali thi. Mai ekdam mayus aur helpless ho gaya uske bina, toh usey request kar ke, usey maine fir mana liya. Uske rehne se meri MRI bina koi pareshani ke, puri ho paayi. Afternoon ko, usney mere favourite Toast-pakuade bana kar khilaye. Magar khane ke baad mai nashe me so raha tha, tab usney mere saath sex kiya, jiska muje bahut bura laga. Maine use'se shart rakhi ke aisa agar fir hua, to mai ghar chhor ke chala jaunga. Shaam ko maine aise 2 sapne dekhe, jisey muje ehsaas hua ke Sanjay mere liye kuch bhi kar sakta hai..apni jaan bhi de sakta hai.. Raat mein, usney mere liye fir meri dher saari pasandida items ka dinner banaya mere liye khaas. Magr fir bhi, hamne ek hi bed mein 2 opposite corner pe soney ka decision liya. Aur saturday ko 2 queen beds lene ka faisla kiya.
Next day friday morning ko, hamne half an hour jaldi uthne ka faisla kiya, kyu ke pehle ki tarah mai uske saath shower lena nahi chahta tha. Office gaya, to Dr. Deol ne kaha ke MRI reports aa gayi hai, so Monday ko consulting ke liye bulaya. Shaam ko mai sex ke liye GB road ke Red-light area me gaya. Waha se ek ladki ko lekar hotel me gaya, aur sex ka maza liya. Ghar me aakar Sanjay ke saath drinks lete lete, usne muje apni feelings jataayi. Magr har din ki tarah mai, apni baato baato mein, usey hurt karna nahi chuka.
Saturday ko dinbhar meri tabiyat kharab rahi, par maine dekha ke is'sey sanjay kaafi worried raha mere liye.
Next day Sunday ko Mandir gaye aur fir Central-Garden. Sanjay muje apni pichhli zindagi ke baare mein ek se ek chhoti chhoti baatien batane mein bilkul hi tired nahi hua tha..maine yeh realize kiya achchi tarah. Har raat ham alag alag corner par sotey, aur subah tak ham ek dusre ko lipat jaate, magar jaagte hi mai ek jhatke se us'se alag ho jata. Sanjay sab tolerate karta raha. Mere dil mein jealousy paida karne, woh do baar kisi ladke ke saath soney bhi gaya. Par maine apni possessiveness bilkul nahi jataayi. Is'sey bechare ki mayusi badhti gayi.
Dusre din Monday ko, yaani mere hadse ek hafte ke baad, meri MRI Reports padh kar Doctor ne decide kiya ke wednesday, yaani ke aaj, mera operation kar diya jaay agar muje apni baaki ki zindagi sahi-salamat jina hai toh.
.
Aur aaj operation ho bhi gaya..
Kitna kuch ho gaya, iin 10 dino mein..
aur waise dekho to kuchh bhi important nahi hua.
Par yakeenan, ek test, ek kasuti toh ho hi gayi mere life-partner ki, jisne koi kasar nahi chhodi, yeh saabit karne mein, ke maine jo saathi chuna hai, woh meri 100% right choice hai.
Uskey mulayam chehre par haath ghumate hue mai usey niharta raha..
aur tab Sanjay hila-dula aur fir jaag gaya.
"Aur? chikney, kya ho raha hai..? kiske sapney dekh raha tha, bachchu?" maine aankh maarte hue, muskura kar puchha.
Ham dono jaage toh yeh mera pehla sentence tha.
"who else, honey? " Sanjay ne kaha, "kaafi dino se kuchh mil nahi raha hai, tujse"
"Hamey kuch karna padega..taaki tujey complain ka mauka na miley, waise complain toh iisko bhi hai.." keh kar maine Sanjay ka haath pakda, dabaya, aur nichey le gaya..mere lund ki taraf..
"Thank you God," Sanjay ne aah bhari, "My baby is back"
.
Ham ghar aaye.
Ghar aatey hi, Sanjay ne muje bistar pe letaya aur meri baazu me aa kar leit gaya.
Ham dono tab nange thhe, jaise pehle hua karte the.
Sanjay ne muje sehlaya.
Ghar par, meri uus pehli shaam ko, mai jyada hila dula nahi.
Mai sidha leita raha, aur Sanjay ko sab kuch karna pada.
magar woh khush tha.
Apni tongue se, usne mere pure badan ka muaina kiya.
Ussey koi jaldi nahi thi..saari raat thi uskey paas.
Mere badan ki ek ek inch par uski zubaan, tab tak ghumti rahi, jab tak woh thak nahi gaya.
At last, usne mere andue ko chusna shuru kiya, aur fir mere khade lund ko upar se nichey chaatne laga..
Mai aankhey moond kar leita raha, aur uska khubsurat zulm sehta raha.
saath saath khushi ki kilkaariya deta raha.
.
"I know, maine tuje yeh sab karne nahi diya tha, jab mai bimaar tha." Maine kaha, "mai saala, chutiya tha, really."
.
Sanjay ne comment karne ki, koi parvaah nahi ki.
Woh busy tha..mera lund chusne me.
Woh apna jaadu dikhata raha..
itne saalo ka experience aur uska mere liye ka pyaar, aur mere jism ke liye ki uski waasna..all three had added up togather.
Kuch hi minutes mein, maine apne anduo mein kuch harkat hoti hui mehsus ki..
mera maal andar taiyaar ho raha tha..
agar ab woh nahi ruka to abhi explosion ho jayega..
aur woh ruka..
.
apna lund haath mein liye, woh mere siney par baith gaya,
apne dono paanv done side me kar ke..
fir uska mazbut lund mere hotho pe ragadne laga..
mera muh khul gaya..automatically.
Maine uske lund ko muh me liya.
.
Lovingly and surprisingly, mai usey apne halak se nichey utarte hue feel karne laga..
woh taiyaar hi tha..
bas do ya chaar dhakko ki baat thi..
aur uskey lund se fuhaar chhut padi, uske prem-lava ki..
mere muh me bina koi taste diye hue, woh mere galey se nichey utarne lagi..
bina koi mehnat, mai usey nigalte gaya..
.
maine uskey face par satisfaction ki woh lakeer dekhi, jisne uske chehre ko aur bhi handsome bana diya..
yahaan, mera lund uske saliva se lathpath hokar chamak raha tha..
ab Sanjay apne dono paanv meri dono side me failaye hue rakh kar, pichey hata,
aur mere lund pe baithne laga..ahista ahista..
aur mera lund uski gaand mein aasani se jaane laga..
kisi bhi pareshani ke bina, pura lund usne apne andar sama liya.
Uski aankhe bandd thi
aur mukh par thhe satisfaction ke bhaav.
Kuch der upar nichey karne laga..
apni hi rythm aur style mein..
maine usey free hand de diya tha,,
aur apni aankhe moond kar, mai apne maze le raha..
kuch hi dhakko ke baad, mere lund ne uske gaand ki diwaaro bhigo diya, apni chikni garm malaai se..
.
Aaj ke love-session mein, mai har baar ki tarah, jyada reciprocate nahi kar paya tha..
I wasn't much active..
jo bhi kiya, sab Sanjay ne hi kiya..
mai to bas leita raha..
but, Sanjay cared least about it..
.
Lekin, kuch dino ki recovery ke baad. mai usey puri tarah satisfy karne laga.
Ab woh khush tha..
kaafi khush..
puri tarah khush..
bedroom ke andar bhi, aur bahar bhi..
.
.
.
.
Kariban ek mahine ke baad...
.
Mai Dr.Deol ki office me follow-up visit ke liye gaya..
"Dr.Deol, there is something, which you need to know.." maine kaha
"ok..? anything serious ?" unhone puchha
"Shayad, yeh ek confession hai..sirf aap liye..kisi aur ko iis baat ka pata nahi chalna chahiye. Agree ? maine kaha.
.
Unho ne sar hila kar haan kahi..
.
"I am still not cured.." jitni simple ho sakey, utni karke, maine baat kari. "meri memories wapaas nahi aayi hai..aur mai abhi bhi, straight, hetro hi hu"
.
Surprise hokar doctor kuch kehne lage..magar maine apna haath dikha kar unhe rok liya.
.
"Operation ki pahle wali raat ko, mai operation ke liye jaruri aisi cheeze pack kar raha tha, tab muje mere dressing table ke drawer se, ek badi si dairy mili..Woh hi, jo meri likhi hui thi.. maine apne current hand-writing se uski likhaawat mila kar deka tha. And I don't think, Sanjay ko uus dairy ke baare mein pata hai.. agar usey malum hota, toh meri past-life ki itni saari baate batane ke bajaay, woh dairy hi padhwa leta. Usme kai saalo ki baatein likhi hui hai..Jabse mai Sanjay se mila..aur iis hadse ke kuch din pehle tak ki..
Maine woh padhi..aur muje ehsaas hua, ke ham dono ek duje ke liye kitna maaine rakhte hai. kisi waqt, mai usey kitna pyaar karta tha..and finally, muje realize hua ke woh kitna mayus hua hoga, mere badal jaane se.. I was destroying his life..
Magar us'sey bhi jyada..uus dairy ne woh sab baatein bhi bataayi, jo Sanjay muje nahi bata paya tha; jaise ke mere Daddy ki taraf ki meri feelings; meri step-mother ka, meri aur ke negative attitude ki wajah; Mai, Madan mere partner, ko mil kar kitna lucky tha uska ehsaas; aur Mai uske sexy body par bhi, kitna marta tha..etc..etc
Operation ke baad mai jab jaaga, to Sanjay ko mere bed pe soya hua paya.. I was overwhelmed with love for him. kisi bhi doubt ke bina, mai yeh baat samaj chuka tha, ke meri zindagi ka woh best person tha. Woh ek hi saksh hai jiske saath mai apni baaki life bita sakta hu. Maine uusi waqt kasam le li, ke mai uske saath sex karke ek couple ki tarah rahunga. India ke sabhi married-gay bande, ek hi similar baat kehte hai..ke woh aankhe muund kar, apni fantasy mein mard ko visualize kar ke, apni wife ke saath successfully sex kar paate hai. Well, mere case me ulta ho raha hai..I visualize being with women, when i'm having sex with Sanjay. He's a fantastic lover and he can do such things to me, that no woman would do. Magr iiska ye matlab nahi, ke mai kisi khubsurat ladki se jyaada, uske saath sona pasand karunga..
But the bottom line is that, sex is only a small part of a relationship. And as a life-companion, Sanjay ko chhor kar, mai kisi bhi person ke baare mein soch bhi nahi sakta. "
.
"Magar yeh sab tum muje kyu bata rahe ho ?" Doctor ne pucha.
"Because gay se straight, aur straight se gay ban'ne ki reason aap ko mil gayi hai, aisi misunderstanding aap ko, meri wajah se ho sakti hai. Aur totally wrong direction mein aap, apna time waste na kare, iisliye yeh batana mera farz hai. Muje lagta hai aapke research ke upar, iis baat ka profound effect padd sakta hai"
"Of course, padega. I appreciate u, telling me all this. But do you think, ke tum ye sab kabhi bhi Sanjay ko kehne waale ho ?"
"Nahi, I love him too much, I can never hurt him again"
.
Mujse agla sawaal karne se pehle Doctor ne apni nazrein jhuka li, as if he knew, ke woh muje hurt karnewale hai, -"married-gay bande, dusre mard ke saath sex karke apni wife ko aksar cheat karte hai, kya tumne Sanjay ko cheat kiya hai, ya karne ka plan hai, dusri ladki se sex kar ke?"
.
"to be very honest doctor, maine ab tak ek baar aisa kiya hai. Aur muje lagta hai, aisa aage bhi hoga. Lekin iiske defense mein mai itna hi kahunga, ke Sanjay ko mai bedroom mein, khush toh rakhta hu na. muje malum hai usey kya kya achcha lagta hai, aur mai woh sab karta hu. I just pretend, ke he is a beauty queen, jisey maine abhi abhi Miss India ka taaj pehnaya hai. Sirf ek saath rehkar bhi, ham dono ek duje ko khush rakte hai. And so I don't feel the guilt."
"Well, in that case, good luck for your future life." Dr.Deol ne itna kehkar apni mulakat puri kar di.
.
Dr.Deol haar maan'ne waalo mein se nahi thhe.
Mai unhe aksar milta raha.
Unho ne apni research jaari rakhi thi.
Unhe kaafi aise bande milte rahe, jo ke gay se straight ban'na chahte thhe.
Doctor unke dimaag ka wohi spot, (jaha muje maar lagi thi) stimulate karne me concentrate karte rahe.
magar koi farq nahi pada.
kisi bande ko, woh aisa karke, gay se straight nahi bana paaye.
Aakhi unho ne aisa conclude kiya, ke mera ek exceptional kissa hi hai, jisme aisa hua hai..
aur akhir apni research chhor dene ka decision liya.
.
.
.
Aur mera kya hua hai..?
mai din-ba-din Sanjay ka diwana hota chala.
In exact words..he completed me.
uske bina mai adhura tha...
kai baar toh aisa hota hai, ke apna lund khada karne ke liye, muje kisi ladki ko fantasize bhi nahi karna padta hai.
Woh jis tarah se mujme sexy feelings paida karnewala hai, uski imagination se hi, mera toh kadak ho jata hai.
But yes, maintaining my erection is a bit difficult for me.
Tab muje apni fantasy shuru karni padti hai, ke mai ek ladki ke saath hu.
Tab ja ke mai us'sey apna sex-play jaari rakh sakta hu.
.
Aur jab actual sex chahiye hota hai, tab mere paas Shefali bhi hai..
Woh baaki ladkiyo ki tarah conservative nahi hai, jo ke without marriage ke sex relations, long time ke liye nahi rakhti..
hamare pehle sex-encounter par woh mujse naraaz thi, kyu ke mai Sanjay ko yaad kar raha tha us'sey sex karte waqt.
Magar ab woh koi discomfort nahi feel kar rahi..
usey to, mere khubsurat mardana jism se hi chaahat hai..
Woh Sanjay se bilkul duur hai, aur na hi us'se koi social rishta rakhna chaahti hai..
.
.
Roz mai apney aap se puchhta tha, ke kya mai Sanjay se yeh sach hamesha ke liye chhupa paunga..?
.
Aur ek raat..
jab Sanjay meri baaho me chein ki neend so raha tha,
aur mai usey pyaar se nihaar raha tha..
tab, shaam ko suna hua kisi purani film ka gana, apni hi style mein yaad aa gaya..
"Bhul Gaya Sab Kuchh..
Yaad Nahi Ab Kuchh..
ho..ho..hmm..hmm..ho....
Bas yehi Baat Na Bhula..
Yaaraa... I Love You.."
.
par ussi waqt, uska chehra dekhte dekhte, muje ek mental enlightment hui,
ke nahi...!
Sanjay is too smart, to be fooled for so long time.
us'se yeh baat chhupi nahi reh payi hogi.
Definitely, mere sexual passion mein farq to aayi hi hai.
Aur dusre mard ko physically satisfy karne ki, meri ability me bhi farq aaya hoga.
Sanjay ne woh difference, chahe kitna bhi chhota ho, usey feel to kiya hi hoga, definitely.
.
tab ja ke, muje ehsaas to ho hi gaya, ke Sanjay sachaai se waqeef hai, aur fir bhi mere love aur companianship ko accept karne ko taiyaar hai.
Mere iis ehsaah ne, Sanjay ke liye mere pyaar ko, aur bhi gehra bana diya..
Maine usey, kass kar apni baaho me jakad liya..
.
meri aankhey bhar aayi, yeh samajte hue, ke mai kabhi bhi...waisa mard nahi bann paunga, jaisa ke woh chaahta hai, aur deserve bhi karta hai..
.
.
THE END
=========================================