Harry Singh--The Net - My Blunder Mistake

The Net - My Blunder Mistake - 

part 1

After that rape incident I could not overcome even two years passed but I was as alone as on the next day of rape .I was in bsc, Ek din college se ghar aate waqt bus stand par ek guy mujhe ghoorne laga facecutting bilkul ravi jaisi thi , suddenly he winked, jab mai fir bhi shant raha to usne ishaare se mujhe bulaaya, pta nhi kyo ma uske pass chala gya, mera dil jor jor se dharhkane laga "R u local "Maine yes me sar hilaaya"Aao kahin bath Kar baat kareaur bus stand k pass k ek dhabe pe challe gye

My mind was not working, what I m doing where I m going I could not understand Usne coke ka order diya, when he looked at me he understand that I m nervous,"Relax, take it easyI kept quite,"Mere sath chaloge, Some other day, I said

Why not today, if not today than never, he told his decisiondont go harry, from a corner of my heart a voice cameCome lets go yaarand I went, I did not asked anything, I did not think where I m going, who is this guy, what is his name, what he do and where from he is

He took me to a lonely placeI cant do anything here, I said, wondering seeing around.Oh comeon its safe yaarhe started kissing my cheeks, and than tried to kiss my lips, I stopped.ok, he said and kissed other part of my body

But frankly I was feeling nothing my mind was blocked

After 15 or 17 minutes he left me with a sign of satisfaction on his face,he suddenly said, its my 3rd trip today, early morning I had sex with two guys

I was shocked, what I have done

He gave his number and name and went away happily

What I have done, first sex and that too with a characterless stranger and that too without condomVery later I come too know that place was a famous gay place in the cityWhen I was coming out of that place I saw joy was coming from somewhere,he asked, hey harry, kanha se aa raha hai,I trembled. Kahin se nhihe gave a vicious smileHe was a friend of my elder brother doing M.A in my collegehe was an ordi

part 2

So I was telling about joy, an average looking guy a friend of my elder brother and we were in the same college, before that day his behavior was normal but suddenly he changed his behavior, his way of looking me was changed as if he wanted to swallow me, One day I was in the home my brother had gone somewhere n mom was in the kitchen and no one else was there,suddenly he came to our house, Veer is not at home, I saidBut I come to meet u , he said, looking at the emptied house,Me, I wondered, what

He came near me and hold my hand, put all the burden of his body on my thies His mouth was so near my mouth that I felt awkwardHarry you r so sexy, look I get hard just at your look

I felt uneasyI pushed him away, Suddenly my brother came and he sat on chair, Harry, bring two cups of tea, my bro said

I went to the dressing table, looked my whole body, from past two years I have not cared for my looks , clothes etc.I asked myself, M I hot.No I did not felt that,But suddenly from the next day I changed the way of my dressing, I tried to be fashionable again.after a week I was going in the market, suddenly I saw him, I tried to cross him but he got me,harry, where r u going dear,at my friend s house, I said hurriedly and try to went" aao mai drop Kar du,No thanks, I can walk.he was on a bicyclebut wo peeche hi parh gya, I sat on his bicycle on front, he put entire weight of his body on mine, I felt a warmthlook I m still hard for u , he saidI was quite, nervousI did not speak a wordmy friend s place arrivedWhen I was goinghe looked at me in such a manner that I wonder. My heart beat increasedharry, fir kab miloge, I want u dear

I just smiledhe was so happy seeing me smiling

When I go back to home I watched my self in the mirrorI m average looking person m not hot, and than I smiled again

part 3

Two days later preet one of my classmate bought a bike and decided to give a treat to us after the class, but I refused to go as I decided to prepare some notes in the library, just outside the library joy saw me and said, aaj mere ghar koi nhi ha mere sath chal,No, I said, mujhe friends k sath party pe jana hai, I rushed to catch preet Hey, I m also coming, I saidPreet gave party at GOPAL safter that when we come out I saw joy as if waiting for someone

He came near us and said, harry tumse koi kaam haiI took leave of my classmatesIs he serious for mewe went to his home, in his bedroom,I m just coming, he went to take a bath, I sat there, I was little nervous,I was thinking, if he is in love with mesuddenly he came just a towel was around his waist he came near and dropped the towel even, standing nude he attracted me, nude bodies always attract,I kept on seeing for a moment and than started looking down

Look, I m still hard for u my love, he said, u have made me mad, I want uAnd than he hugged me started kissing all over my body,this was my third sex experience, first was a rape, second was with a stranger,but this time for the first time I was enjoying I come out of my shyness and started a hot and long kissing sessionthan he put of my clothes, two body were trying to become one, he was so happy that even after peak he did not left me and in five minutes he again did it

When I came home I went on the bed to sleep, on bed I felt that I m in his armshe is in love with meI was happysuddenly I locked the room from inside and put off my clothes made myself nude and looked in mirrorI M SO HOT, I said

part 4

A week later I was going in the market for some work when I saw joy in the corner of a vacant street with a woman, it was easy for me to understand what kind of woman she was. They talked for a while and than she walked away with a loud laughI understood that she is a prostitute, joy saw me and came to mewho was she, I askedhe gave a vicious smile and said, gashti hai saali,so, I said, what r u doing with her.Ye bhi tere jaise, bahut maja deti hai, us ne has k java, SHE IS HOT, is not she?ek ek word mere muh pe jaise ek ek thapparh ki tereh parha ,I came home, What is this harry, I thought, first love jis se hua, he raped u with his friend,Karan se dusra pyaar hua but wo bhi ek strange love ban gya, karan meri poems ko samjgata hai k kiske liye likhi hai, wo ye to kehta hai, harry asal me hum ek doosre k itna close hai k next step physical relations hai, wo hostal k bed pe mere adhnange jism ko hug to karta hai but meri mook sehmati ko nhi samajh paata, wo ye to kehta hai k jo bhi dil me hai wo khull k meri aankho me aankhe dal k bol par sath hi mujhe straight behavior ka lecture bhi deta hai, jo ye to kehta hai I love u too harry but kehta hai k I dont want a gay relationship,

Or pehla sex harry kiya bhi to ek character less stranger se

Aur ab ye first relationship ek aise guy k sath jo tujhme or ek prostitute me koi farak nhi samajhta 

Kis mud me ja rahi hai life,I looked myself in the mirror, instead of self I saw the reflection of that prostitute,I said to my self, harry tujhse to achhi wo vesya hai, uski to koi majboori hogi, jo ye sab Kar rahi hai, par tumI hated myselfI decided I will never go to meet joy

Two days later joy met me and said, kal mere ghar koi nhi, 2 baje aa jana.No, I said, I will not come.Why, he askedbas meri marji, I will never come again, I saidAana to tujge paregaa, wo gusse me bola, teri nhi meri marji chalegi samjha

Wo gusse me challa gya, mai darr gya thakahin wo kisi ko bataa na deJeevan me sabse important sabak maine yahi seekha hai k aapke ander jo darr hai wo kabhi bhi face pe jaahir nhi hona chahiye kisi ke bhi saamne, chahe wo kitna bhi apna kyon na ho, jis din aisa hua aapki life ka remote control uske hath me hoga, so friends keep this point in your mind,next day us ek darr ki vajah se mai uske paas chala gya ab mai uski muthhi me thamai ek aise panchhi k tereh tha jo urhna to chahta tha par jisne pankh katwa liye theI WAS IN THE NET Mujhe lagta tha k mai ek butterfly hu jo k spider k net me quad ho gyi ho, koi raasta nhi sujh rahaa tha kaise iss jaal se bahar aau, ab jaisa k usne kaha tha uski marji chalti thi 

Ek din usne mujhe bulaaya, but suddenly uske father ghar wapas aa gye,So no placechal kahi aur chalte hai,kahan, I saidwo mujhe bike par batha Kar city k outer areas ki taraf chal parha, ek sunsaan Ilaake me FCI k khali godown the, bike rok Kar usne kaha, comeI looked around, though there was no one all around but still I found it very unsafeno, I cant do here, I saidPlease aaj maan ja fir tang nhi karoonga,joy, yaha safe nhi hai, mujhe ajeeb lag raha hai,dont worry kuchh nhi hoga, aur fir kya teri akele ki izzat hai meri nhi. Paanch das minutes ki to baat haimujhe jaana paths, Bike aisi jagah par park thi jahan se use door se dekha ja sakta tha, maine chaha bhi ki use kanhi aur park karne ko bol du but keh nhi paaya,

Ander ek khali room tha jaise koi security room ho, wanha jakar usne mere kaprhe aur apne bhi neeche Kar liye, mai bas kaise bhi wahan se nikalna chahta thasuddenly I heard some noise, Koi aa raha hai chhorho, I saidbut wo peak par tha aur chorhna nhi chahta thamaine use dakka de diya aur jaise taise kaprho ko theek Kar k baahar aaya, tab tak security man aa gya tha, .Kya ho raha hai, wo chillayanothing, just we were urinating, I said in a hurry and left out,saamne road pa do aur log dekh rahe the, k kya ho raha hai, they asked, kya hua Nothing, I said and walked away briskly, suddenly I felt that the person asking me on the road was an employee on preet s father s showroom,I trembled, now everyone will come to know, there was dust all around in that area my body, my clothes, my hands and face all filled with dustI reached home, looking at my condition my mother who generally never spoke a hard word to me shouted, from which hell u r coming.I went straight into the washroom to take a bath

I asked my self, kitnaa aage tak jaaoge kameene, I looked at my house.with how difficulty my father is managing the expenses of our studies, a few days ago my brother bought a new shoes of liberty which he want to buy from a time and when I just said k kitne nice shoes hai to usne turant mujhe de k kaha k tu le le, I will get new, though I know that he cant buy a new pair

Enough, I decided

Three days later joy met me In the college corridor,aao ground me chalte hai, usne kahaground me wo bola, shaam ko mil,Nhi aa skta mai, maine kahaa Kyo? Mujhe ek baat bataao joy, insaan apni ki ek galti ki sazaa kab tak bhughatega, can u tell, I dont want it anymore

Joy ne meri taraf kuchh der dekha, aur bola, jao tum aajad ho, insaan apni ek galti ki sazaa aur nhi bhugatega, ab kabhi tang nhi karunga tumhe, ye kehkar wo challa gyaI WAS REALLY SHOCKEDI come back home, went to my room very tired, I watched my self in the mirror and asked, AM I NOT HOT!and than I burst into tears